i like this faint tiredness i'm experiencing now. because it shows i'll be able to have an early night.

BUT, no matter how tired i am, i just wanna grumble alittle bout my mum.

on sunday, she loudly exclaimed she is gonna visit my grandma, which is daddy's mom, because she ain't feeling that well. well, you know, old ppl and sickness.

we happened to have lived in the same area for the past 10 years before we shifted to where we are living today.

okie the above is just an introduction on what i wanna grumble. the thing is, she also loudly proclaimed she is gonna buy roast duck for dinner on monday evening, which is TODAY.

she nagged, and nagged, and asked, and asked whether me and my sista would be heading home IMMEDIATELY after work. i'm a roast duck lover, naturally i said yes, and normally i would head home for dinner unless i have a date.

when i reached home, not only there's wasn't a single piece of roast duck, there wasn't dinner at all! i felt so fucked up. after a tiring day at work, you reached home hungry. you were promised ur fav food. disappointed nvm, theres no food at all you know?

i was more pissed at the fact that she failed to inform us bout it.

mum: i tried to wake ur papa up to walk over to other side to buy dinner. call and call but he cannot wake up
me: you knew since afternoon that you failed to get the duck. and you knew you wouldn't be cooking. why didn't you call me? at least i could have bought something on my way home.
mum: i wanted too. but aiya, i forgot lah. then i sit here watch tv. watch watch then forgot lor.

i was so pek chek, i just wanted to cry.

jolene ho proudly presents to you my mummy dearest.

i am not angry with the fact that she didn't cook. i am angry at her fucking lousy excuse.

if you are not working, isn't the basic requirement of a housewife to tidy matters at home and that includes cooking and washing? if i were to come home to an empty dining table, whats the diff as compared to the times while u were still working apart of the 2k less of income?

i thought this was a relatively small matter. a hungry man is an angry man. women too.

but right, i couldn't stand her stick-in-the-mud-fucked-up-thinking.

you see, its granddad's death anniversary this sunday. a trip to the cemmetry is arranged. since my dad had to return his cab by like 5 am daily, he couldn't drive us there. our usual routine was to be picked up by uncle leng in his cab cause he lives near us.

a week ago, my henpecked uncle told us that his family might be going for a holiday and might not be able to ferry us. okie lor, no transport don't go lor at the most. then a couple of days ago, he changed his words. now he said he is available.

and mummy is pissed. she claims she doesn't wan to see ppl's face and having to owe them this favour. she rather not go if she feels unhappy even when she reach there.

i held back my sarcasm, and i tried to reason out with her. if people wanna talk behind your back, let them talk. their mouths will rot someday i believe. but hello, asking u to pay respects to ur late father. very hard on you issit? happy or not happy, i believe its a form of respect. u are not there to celebrate ur birthday for goodness sake. you are there to pray to ur own father!

but, she INSISTED in her own thinking. even my dad is with me this time. i know i maybe rude to mother at times. but i swear i did my best to reason it out with her. she's just too stubborn for her own good.

so i'm arrowed to go. "you are the best rep if no one in ur family wans to go", my uncle said. i don't mind at all, i'm going to pay respects to my grandfather. i don't care what others are gonna say, but i'll request gong gong to bless them with rotten mouths and decaying teeth. sometimes, the woes of having too big a family.

sighs, politics at work. politics at home. i'm going crazy.

**and after reading the post after posting, i couldn't sense any huge anger. i'm probably too tired to make myself sound angry, i'm blabbering le...blah...goodnites everyone...