The very last day...

its 2.15am now. wat's left of 2005 is 22 hours, and memories.

hmm...this is very true of a cancerian, i personally feel so...

here is wat i got from the webbie:
If a person with Cancer horoscope has an interest in you, they will drop subtle clues. Don't expect them to be forward, as they don't know how to be. Since Cancerians have a tendency to be old-fashion in beliefs, the perfect date would be tickets to the theater, a romantic restaurant, or a cultural event. As Cancer Sign tend to be romantic day dreamers, and reflect in the past, bring up some old stories so that they can relate some of theirs. Show an interest to this sentimentalist when they bring out their collections or old pictures.

People with Cancer horoscope thrive on admiration and praise. Let them know how much you admire them. Compliments will get you everywhere. Ask their opinion, and be sure to be sincere about hearing their response. Keep in mind that a people with Cancer horoscope hates rejection and is extremely cautious about making any commitment. They will try to avoid giving an answer, and whatever you do, don't try to rush them into one. Usually if the answer is no, they will go to all lengths to avoid the subject.

A Cancerian has an excellent memory and a jealous nature. Because they can recall situations in their past very easily, it would be a tremendous mistake to ever be insincere to this person. To them betrayal is devastating, and it will take a very long time for them to forgive, and to top it off, they may never forget. Once emotionally wounded, there will always be a void in the relationship. Emotional and financial security is of the utmost importance in this relationship. They don't like frivolous spending, since it means a loss of control and security.

If you can give an enormous amount of attention and constant reassurance, you have found the perfect mate. In return you will find people with Cancer horoscope to be affectionate, romantic, sympathetic, imaginative, and quite seductive. (ignore this point lah!)

Although they tend to want your complete devotion, if they are in love, Cancerians will cherish and protect their partner always.

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here is what i feel and observed bout us cancerians:
i feel that a cancerian has trouble expressing herself. (lets just use females as the lead here) when she's happy, she smiles happily. when she isn't, she still tries to smile and pretend it doesn't affect her. she is too prideful to be truthful, none of ego problem. just her pride hindering her.

even in front of her closest friends, she doesn't reveal her true self. it takes an observant 3rd party, or lets say good-and-concerned friend to slowly discover her traits and her good side. lets not talk bout flaws, any girlfriend of hers would be able to name afew off hand.

ao when u feel a cancerian is keeping something to themselves, you are prolly right. and most of the time, its something which affects them so greatly, they feel shy to be openly discussing it or talking bout it. AND, it prolly concerns you or persons related to you. they would find it easy to talk to a complete stranger to their situation, because they get more comforting advice based on their side of the story. they rarely like to hear they are in the wrong, or rather admit so.

hard case to crack, you may never crack open a cancerian completely.

love...when a cancerian falls, she falls hard and sees only the one she loves in her eyes. she blocks out all others and concentrate on loving that particular person wholeheartedly. if you ever find ur cancerian partner straying, it would mean that you have not done enough to keep them by ur side. i'm noy saying its right for them to stray, but it would have meant that lots of hesitation and chances are given to their partners, before they decide its time to let go.

they rarely give up, no matter how much hurt they had been subjected to. this is the case of them really loving that particular person. but when they do, ex-partners may find it hard to penetrate into their hearts once again. they are soft-hearted, only to the extend when they feel there's still hope in the relationship and its a pity to give up now. when disappointed completely, there's no turning back. the shattered heart would recover slowly, but the chance to heal it is defintely not the one who broke their rather fragile heart.

they would blindly believe in things their partners tell them. so promises shouldn't be made to them, unless u are serious and confident of fulfilling them. never ever try to forget what you promised them too. because they would never prompt you, but wallow in their own disappointment instead.

they tend to remember what you said too. do not overjoke, or say things u know u would regret later on and wished u had never said. they may smile and receive those words, but indirectly, u stabbed their hearts with ur words. they would only break down when they could take it no more, then u would realise how much you have hurt them.

saying sorry is the easy way out. they would soon get over with it, but they would never forget. a cancerian never forgets, bear that in mind.

they are a bunch of over-sensitive freaks. don't ever let them start getting suspicious of you, because its going to live in them permanently. you may think she doesn't trust you. but it's not really so. its her insecurity which leads her to react in that manner. reassurance works well, but u gotta be patient in doing so. you need to take the initiative to explain urself to them. letting them find out from situations and from others isn't exactly pleasing to their hearts. unless they could take it no more, they wouldn't probe. so many may think they dun care, they are actually giving their partners the benefit of the doubt. and partners, if u are dumb enough not to clarify matters, they would simple ASSUME you are guilty of it. they may drfit apart from you, worst senario? they would just try to leave before they get hurt any further.

jealousy is a major tripping stone. just like ladies could never understand wat's so interesting bout 22 men chasing after a soccer ball, men could never understand wat's up with jealousy. cancerians get jealous easily. and they never want to show it. this jealousy could lead to insecurity once again. sadly, men are dumb enough to heck care with their jealousy. haha...just don't regret later in your relationship, if it lasts.

so...wanna love a cancerian? make sure u have what it takes to love her...ur love and faith in ur love.. otherwise, please forget bout loving a cancerian. at least they are still worthy enough being a friend.

hees. okies i'm tired le. i wanna rebond my hair. i can't stand it le.

Boey left a bottle of meiji fresh milk at my house on christmas eve when she visited me.

3 days later, i open the bottle cap, wanting to drink it. i guessed it must be angry at me for neglecting it for too long. coz the cap was so tight, then it gave a loud "pop" when i finally POP it open, and cold milk was splashed onto my face and hair and clothes.

sighs, wat a way to end my day. or should i say begin my day with?

and it happened at 2 am...i'm beginning to hate the number 2.

just like how i happened to live on the second level for the past 14 years of my life and how people could easily life their heads and glance into my house from the void deck or carpark.

just like how u know u could have gotten 1st but you lost on just that few points/seconds/whatever that determines you are 2nd.

just like if you happened to be the second child and get neglected because theres three kids in ur family.

just like how u might be someone's 2nd love and could never replace his/her 1st.

just like how u could have two equally important persons dating u on the same day at the same time and u dunno which to accept.

just like no matter how many good friends you have, you know there's only one best friend you have...no 2 of them...

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i can't sleep.

i'm not going kl. everybody has been discouraging me to go, so i've decided not to go. i'm not really upset bout not being able to go. i'm upset with myself being upset with you.

i could remember ur words..."you think i dun care bout you...you are stubborn!" and somewhere along the line, you mentioned something like "i can't understand you"

and i wondered, what made me so persistent in the first place. whatever made me so determined isn't important anymore.

what i can't understand now is, why am i being so cold to you? why is it we can't seem to understand each other.

is it ur words...or is it me? i'm finding it harder to understand myself, to understand the rationale behind wat i am doing or saying. to put it shortly, i just can't understand WHY.

the surge of excitement replaced with sudden anger.

and then regrets.

i feel so helpless, really.

i'm not going kl. period

i dun wanna quarrel bout it.

classes starting soon.

this stubborn girl is staying put, everybody happy?

Just as i thought year 2005 is gonna close off peacefully, i receieved a piece of disturbing and upsetting news.

in the midst of playing my mahjong game on my lappy with mommie disturbing me, a sms sent all the way from thailand reached me.

"alissa has a 4mm hole in the heart. doc says just have to monitor her but try not to let her catch a cold, or else will get asthma easily. 75% possibility of getting smaller and 40% that the hole will close. he said if it reduce to less than 3mm then she would be fine. stress...sg doc never tell me anything."

how does that feels when u are reading it? she's barely three months old.

"the heart specialist here(thai) said she is born like this already. just that the sg doc never check in detail. she is fine, just cannot fall sick lor..."

its so heart wrenching to hear such a thing befall on the little princess. and to witness once again, how negligent sg doctors are. i'm so disgusted by them. becoz its not the first time i heard stories bout how these babies suffered due to their incompetence and failure to discover any problems/defects.

its so coincidental that my new year resolution for alissa is for her to grow up healthy. i pray that she would be fine in time to come. and may god bless this little girl.

I've been bad this xmas...

ho ho ho! not iterally bad...but bad...

i stayed up all night just to watch my froggie prince vcds. the show may be slightly draggy, but it just makes me wanna watch on. the love story seems so surreal. its just irresistable. even mummy watches it. haha..the story quite sad and touching at times leh..i cried a few times while watching it last night le. but its so sweet too!

and i ate chocs earlier on! quite alot too! haha..really, i have no self-determination at all. u tempt me and i'm a goner. gonna be a drinking machine later, drinking h2o. wouldn't wanna wake up tml with a hoarse sexy voice. i prefer it sweet.

i tried singing just now u noe...somehow it sounds and felt weird...and my tongue still hurts. i dare not exert, but i am just relieved that i can still sing. haha...ok ok i know i dun really sound good, but its just that i would feel so damn sad if i ever lose the ability even just to sing badly. haha...think too much le...think too much.

my face has been itching. i wonder has it got anything to do with my allegy and the rashes i've got from taking the antibiotics. problematic hor?

i've decided. i wanna go shopping tml. anyone wanna date me? hee...

i feel so sleepy even after a cold shower...

its time for another hair cut soon..haha...madness

This is for everybody...

I am gonna make my 2006's resolutions/wishes/whatever shit u call them. I've never done this in my entire life. and i wanna do it, now.

its gonna sound too angelic if i start off wishing for world peace and no wars. so i am gonna start off for me, myself, and I. yes the princess rules.

• i wanna be happy always. nothing can mess up my life...
• i'm gonna work hard in school. no more taking for granted that i can easily retake.
• i wanna grow a little taller. i'm dreaming...
• i wanna celebrate my 21st with my beloved strawberry shortcake and love ones.
• i wan to be with myboy, and counting the many years to come.

okie...i have no idea wat else to wish for...the next list is gonna be long...and if ur name is mentioned, it means u are someone important and special and irreplaceable in my life.

mr wong zachary@huang shanle: i pray good health be with you. enjoy ur family ties as u always have...smile because you are really happy...smile because i made you smile...smile because of our love...

miss noorfarhani aka boey: you too...good health. great friends who appreciate ur efforts. people worth loving appearing and yearning for ur love. people who should stay away from you disappear and not bother you. easier year ahead in school. hope ur relationship with ur parents improves. and be my special friend always

mr say hock an flynn aka xiao an: stop smoking and drinking yea? hehe..another fella whom i wish will enjoy good health. and finding the right one to love and to shower all that tender love on. you are a great guy.

mr maiyo: haven heard of u in ages. hope u are happy with ur life though. and take care of urself too.

miss selyn chen: get thru the audition yea? hehe...dun give up and good luck at work. and hope all ur headaches and other illness that doctors can't seemed to detect just disappear as year 2005 comes to an end.

miss ang june yi: been thru that past almost 7 years with you. had our goods and bads and still going strong. its true hard work pays off. continue that strving spirit to acheive the best academic results the next sem. and a smooth relationship with brian too.

miss chia liqing: mugging and being watchful of how u fare in tests doesn't make u a nerd. it shows u care bout your results because u wanna do well and make ur parents proud. continue working hard. god bless you.

miss wang hwee sim aka xiao hui: never in the same class but high mo-qi level. a die die must have friend. a great pal in disguise of her white face(hee!). work hard in sim too...friends are forever. gonna be ur 5th year with kh next year! am so looking forward to it. hope he treasures you well.

miss annabelle ang: dun let the PRCS get u down in school! show them you are not good to be trifled with! hehe... find true love in 2006 perhaps?

miss joann tay aka sleepyhead aka ee mo ti ken aka darling: please be punctual and not laze in bed so much. haha...attend more lectures and do more tutorials. host more bunkovers and i love you from the bottom of my heart!

miss chen yurong: we may have drifted apart, but we once had our enjoyable times. the ktvs and dinners and shopping. dun take wat u have for granted and work hard in school too.

miss chen huili: my jc pal. smart girl who always manage to score well. hope situation at home turns better.

miss toh yilin: another smart girl from my jc class. different frequency initially but clicked well because of ur innocence. may u always have good results.

mr alan neo: haha...ord le wor...better wish u to have less ulcer attacks. going back to study? good brains of urs shdn't have any problems yea?

mr zhao jian: lets work hard together in class. and please be our mr sweetguy always.

miss jingwen: continue to be crazy in class and still get singapore no. 1 placing!

miss alissa poh aka little darling: grow up to be a cute little girl! jie jie loves you and misses you so muchie!

up till here, i'm exhausted. tired out from watching my frog prince vcds and thinking of wat to write. haha...sorry if certain things sound repetitive. u just look for ur own name and dun read wat's meant for the others lah! if i missed out on ur name, and u think u are impt to me, tell me. i'll judge and add u in if u are worth it. lol!

for my family, inclusive of grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins. may u be blessed with good health and healthy family relations. i'm quite sick of listening you guys backstab each other, really.

cancer and leo?

When Cancer and Leo make a love match, they understand and know how to satisfy basic emotional needs within one another. Both these Signs require dedication and tender, loving care, but while Cancer seeks stability and emotional harmony, Leo craves heartfelt compliments and sincere admiration. Both are strongly loyal, even to the point of possessiveness, Cancer for safety's sake, Leo for the sake of their self-confidence. They are also both committed to a enduring, rewarding connection. Since their desires are similar, a Cancer and a Leo may fill very important voids in each other's lives.

Both Leo and Cancer prefer comfort and security, and they prefer both on a grand scale. Cancer and Leo enjoy a lovely home and a close-knit family. Leo provides the flair and the passion, and Cancer brings to the home a sensitive but intense instinct to nurture. Leo is the bigger and bolder and more vivid of this couple, the picture of majesty and status. Because both Signs are so strong-minded, these two must always work attentively to understand and accept one another.

The intense and emotional Moon (Emotion) rules Cancer, while the bright, bold Sun (the Self) rules Leo. The Sun is about ego and self, radiating warmth and light, and vibrant Leo indeed radiates this kind of energy and enthusiasm. The Moon concerns itself with nurturing, with creating and maintaining emotional connections. This combination of masculine and feminine energy is why the Sun and the Moon adore and sustain one another other as they do. The Sun represents life, and The Moon cultivation and growth; as long as they are mindful of their inherent differences, their combination can be a positive one.

Cancer is a Water Sign, and Leo is a Fire Sign. Leo strives with an ardent energy toward praise and appreciation, while Cancer yearns more for security and stability. Both Signs like to take charge, but they come at a leadership role from very different directions. No small number of disputes can rise from this difference. As long as Cancer and Leo never take for granted their relationship, as long as they reassure one another in practical and romantic ways that this relationship is important to both of them, they can usually find a happy medium.

Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and Leo is a Fixed Sign. Under stress, Leo becomes opinionated and stubborn, and Cancer can act as a subtle manipulative force. Cancer's the persistent initiator of shared plans, and Leo channels their energies and works doggedly to move plans to completion. If given the choice, the Crab would choose a calm and stable life, having no need for glamour or acclaim. Leo, on the other hand, loves to shake things up and embraces the unexpected and the novel. Though a Leo and a Cancer may commit emotionally to a relationship, each of them can continue to follow their natural instincts AND devote themselves thoroughly and completely to one another. If, however, they haven't made their love intentions clear to one another, they may find themselves on a never-ending emotional roller coaster ride. Cancer, hiding behind that innocent shell of theirs, can be the more quietly controlling of this pair and might -- to a degree -- manipulate their Leo loved one when it seems practical to do so.

What's the best aspect of the Cancer-Leo relationship? Their mutual commitment to a sincere relationship. Together this pair can share a supportive, positive and healthy vibe. People see them as a winning combination, and their mutual desire for a secure, loving relationship makes them strive for harmony.

oh i nearly forgot.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

thankew for all the sms-es i've received. ah i'm so loved! tis the seaon to be jolly~

Again?

wondering why i am blogging again so soon?

yes i'm bored.

and because i had an awakening shock....i thought my throat was bleeding.

was drinking water since i didn't drink much today. then i tasted blood when i drained the liquid down. plus there was a stinging sharp pain as the water touched the wound, so i panicked. hehe...

FALSE ALARM!

yes it hurts, but i can't justify the blood taste. got my sista to check it out, and she claimed it is alright. so yea...

serves me right for not drinking enough water. -smacks my pi pi-

That one chance at happiness

girl: why is it that my relationships can't last? where has that initial sweetness gone to? i always seem to lose that feeling..
guy: hmmm? the love is still sweet...its just that you grew numb to it.




you told me, no don't cry.
i nodded, i won't cry.
after which we both teared...

sleepless night...

i am resisting sleep...becoz i find most of my time idling awaY. and i dun wanna go to sleep just like that. haha....i sound so bian tai huh?

as a result, i spent the last 2 hours surfing. and i saw the photos on ning's bloggie. this lucky girl just came back from europe. its so freaking beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! goodness...i also wanna go...

i wanna go to the land of hello kittys too!

and i'm pushing my luck too much by wanting to go kl next week. haha...if all goes well, i'll leave most probably on the 28th. blah...god, please bless me with ur holy power and heal my throat by sunday. amen.

oh and wat happened at funan? lets just say, i'm satisfied with it. they even replace me lappy with a new one coz the closing ain't tight enough. so there's like a gap and dust could get in. was caught in a slight drizzle earlier on, and with my brother endless flow thru his nose, i sense itchiness in my throat. lets just pray hard its dryness and not anything else yea?

still no appetite for food...this sounds bad...

W-H-Y?

i just dun understand why. everytime we buy something from harvey norman, the product turns out to be faulty in some way or another. remember my sony tv last year? that happened in yishun's HN. now the problem lies with funan's HN.

my lappy's batt life is simple too short. and stop telling me ways to troubleshoot to see if its error on my part. i did as instructed and i did not get the results. i am the consumer and i am ALWAYS RIGHT. HN wanna argue? they can kiss my tonsils!

i am so excited. when was the last time i talk like a bitch? donkey years ago i think. lol. i've tamed down so much i couldn't rcognise myself. really. they just have to mess with the wrong person's product.

so we are going to go down and EXCHANGE FOR FREE. if they ever dare to charge or refuse to change it, then they are asking for more trouble.

An angry woman is a scary woman.

and its pural over here. women. my mum's not that hard to please either.

not to mention, i get to step outta sembawang's holy land. hehe somehow i feel happy! better go open up my printer and test if it works. wouldn't wanna make ANOTHER trip down to fire them.

wat's life if there ain't such excitment and thrills? Whee!!!!

Oh how pathetic~

i go to bed feeling bored.

i wake up feeling bored.

i spend my boring day feeling bored.

very soon i am gonna be a bona fide boring person.

not that i am very happening, but this level of seclusion is almost driving me crazy.

-starts counting how many strands of hair i've got on my head-

see....it has reduced me to counting my own hair! and yes, did i mention i am still feeling bored?

blah! let me show u guys wat mommie fed me with yesterday....

initially mommie thought they are going out cycling(and YES! leaving me alone at home!), so she took out our slow cooker for the first time and decided to use my porridge as a guniea pig. look at it, it looks like a mash of mashy gluey substance! oh and that dark coloured thingy is spinach. for dunno wat reason, i rejected all spinach yesterday. yucks!

annabelle and june dropped by for a visit though. and they brought ice cream! ice cream is in abundance in my house coz mommie bought me a big tub after doc recommended i take it. BUT, they were "paiseh" if they visited me empty-handed. haha...so the silly girls decided to buy some ice cream afterall. and the silliest thng they did, more like wat annabelle did, was to call me. i held the phone in my hand and wondered how the hell am i supposed to answer? diaoz...i'm a temporary mute k?

spent some time downloading songs yesterday afternoon. so many nice nice songs yea? sighs...but i can't sing!! YET!!! pffts...nvm nvm...i shall endure....

i miss alissa so much....she is growing so cute...so ke ai...hehe...and she is coming home in a month's time for chinese new year!



come chinese new year, i would be able to enjoy all the goodies goodies already! no more fish porridge for the rest of 2006!

hmmm....i think its right when ppl calls me slow. u see, i actually have allegy towards antibiotics. i get rashes and my skin peels. most of the time, doctors dare not prescribe them to me. however, it is required of me to take them after the op, so i specially called up the previous clinic and asked for the name of the medicine i was allegic to.

while i was still in the hospital, i developed this itch which i thought was "nothing". blah! i really need to shoot myself. becoz it was on and off, i really thought it was nothing and finished the entire course. haha...and i found rashes developing. oopsie. bothersome...

my brother is nowhere to be seen. sister went to play tennis. no one to play with me!

oh and boey, u seemed very moody recently...take care of urself yea? u worry too much sometimes girl. hehe enjoy ur holidays!!!!!

hmmm...hmmmm...

wat comes to your mind when u hear threadfin porridge with spinach and mince meat? yummy? i used to like threadfin porridge coz its super yummy and only babies get to eat it. why huh? coz its full of nutrients and expensive.

the princess is a big baby now!

simple because i get to eat this superlicious porridge. and mommie is gonna add in scallops tml!

the only turn off: i can't enjoy my food in peace. every mouth i take is torturous. i took 2 hours to finish my plate today. sighs..

whenever i think of the pain, it would put me off eating. and surprisingly, i hardly feel any hunger at all..i'm only surviving on fresh milk and porridge for now...so ke lian right?

having slight fever now too..not exactly a good sign because it would mean infection might be setting in..sighs...

i am seriously very very bored at home.. wat can i dooooooooooooooooooooo????????

darling, i miss you! -huggies- love you so muchie!

UN-BEAR-ABLE

the pain is almost making me tear. the discomfort level has risen. as wat the doctor said, it has even spreaded to the ears. i woke up because i had difficulty swallowing my saliva. and each time i swallow, the pain seems to escalate.

AND...the doc said the pain could worsen between the next 4 to 5 days. could i just die like now?

tong si wo le...

bored...bored.....bored.......

i have no idea how am i gonna survive two weeks without rotting. i've only spent half a day at home, and already i feel the boredom kicking in.

was secretly hoping i would be able to go KL towards the end of december. but doc overruled that possibility, and mommie cancelled the trip. except for my lucky asshole brother who would be travelling with my aunts. no surprise, i used to do that too.

update on condition?
still hurting. i dun even feel like talking or singing. eating and drinking is hard. but i'm trying hard le. felt abit feverish. mommie was shocked to see my face red like lobster and body so warm. but i'm still okie yea?

i'm gonna out on so many so many events just because of this op. i'm not complaining, i'm merely lamenting. no KL trip. can't join my vocal classmates for xmas party this coming monday. gotta miss selyn's xmas party at her house. gonna miss sihui's 21st bday celebration. and hark's new yr party.

pffts.

The Big Day..

i woke up early at 6.45am as instructed to drink a glass a water. i decided against eating because i was simply too full.

went back to sleep..and before long, it was time to go to the hospital...

the reporting time to clear the admin work was 1.15pm and my scheduled operation time was 2.15pm. guessed wat time was i wheeled in the OT? 4.30pm. i even had time to finish reading the straits times while waiting.


first time in my entire life have i got this on..its not pink!


while waiting...couldn't resist snapping pictures...

there's actually a small waiting area outside the actual OT. and everytime the surgeons or nurses come out from there, i could hear all the machine sounds. it was quite scary knowing all these would be used on u as well.

my surgeons and anaesthesiologist came walking out to assure me, so i didn't feel that scared while waiting. the nervousness and shivers came only when the nurse inserted the drip. my threshold of pain isn't that high..and i was really afriad. the first prick of pain came when she poked the needle in. i decided to endure that but i shouted "ouch" as she pushed it in. hello, that needle is bigger than those blood tests needles. and there's like a stinging pain following the insertion.


mummy told me there'll be alot of ppl in the OT. no joke. there's my anaesthesiologist, 3 nurses, 2 male nurses and my 3 surgeons. i was given a pure oxygen mask to breathe through while i was injected with anaesthesia. 2 breathes to doze off? i think i took more than 10 breaths. the anaesthesiologist had to inject more to make me sleep. the nurse was saying "jolene take deep breathes. your eyes are still so wide big." it was really a matter of mere seconds that i was asleep. the next i knew, i was wheeled out already.

before...


after...


noticed the difference? the two ping pong balls by the sides are gone. all i'm left with is an open wound, an aching tongue, a sore throat, giddiness and fever.

swallowing is such a chore..

and look wat i'm being forced fed with?


and my eeyore was looking at me pitifully...


the whole experience wasn't that bad. for dunno wat reason, the doctors decided to place me in the day surgery ward instead of my b2 ward. thank god for that, and thanks for all ur prayers. this ward has air con and tv! managed to catch the last episode of the 9pm show. hehe.

not forgetting to thank those who made an effort to visit me despite your busy busy day...
ah ma, nanny, chad chad, aunt mary and uncle jonathan, zhao jian, jingwen, yong liang, chunkeng and my family members. and thanks for all the calls and smses i've got.

its nice being loved and fussed over. hee~

blessed...

in times like these when i really feel its an all time low-ness, in fact all life low-ness, i'm thankful for the angels god had sent me.

to daddy and mummy, who has been worried despite its just a minor operation, thankew i love you guys. daddy even went to the extend to get fellow praymates to come to my house to bless me through chanting. and i acted like a spoilt little girl who refused to aknowledge their good intentions.

to my aunt all the way in bangkok with the little darling...she sent me an mms of the little princess and wishing me luck tml. with an eeyore pressie that i'll only receive in jan. :)

to my little devil bro who has offered to accompany in the hospital.

to dawn, whom i've treated real rudely. she isn't defeated by my attitude, and even called daddy in the middle of the night to find out bout my hospitalisation information, for the simple reason of paying me a visit.

to zhao jian, who went all the way to treat me as a princess....from organising outings and gathering company just before the operation... for being a friend this great, you deserve wat i call, a lifelong friendship.

to brandem, cynthia, yong liang and the remanining classmates from ACCA, ur well wishes are receieved. thanks for the concern...

to liqing, and xiao hui. need i say anymore? i love you guys.

my cashline darlings...got ur blessings too.

flynn, boey, ezu. dun worry too much.. i'll be fine. i'll try msging you when i can...

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fasting instructions: no food or drink after midnight. between 6.30 to 7am, can take a glass of water and 2 slices of plain bread.

venue: ttsh

time: 1.15pm.

ward: i have no freaking idea.

length of stay: hopefully a day if it doesn't bleed....if it does...then.....

i'm feeling thirsty now!

I'm really so in love with you....but does it matter anymore?

i recently read an old friend's blog, and it was from there that i found out, she broke up with her bf. and sharon broke with with hers too.

is it the season to do it?

and the usually in his joking face yong liang turned all serious when i asked him bout his gf....seriously guys...sometimes i really can't understand why.

staying together becoz you are worried how she might turn react after finding out the truth that you don't love her no morE? its tormenting you but its heart-shattering for her.

i'll feel totally humiliated. how can u expect her to look in ur eyes and say "lets be friends" without collasping inside? face it, every female is fragile.

and the 9pm show....wat xiao qian said seems so true...and it made me feel so vulnerable once again...

okie...dinner time. miss boey managed to fly my aeroplane once again. dun do it too often k? starving... no more food after 12 midnight. i'm the deprived cinderalla tonight.

why i blog again...

okie...since i'm not sleeping cause i can't sleep yet, i'm gonna blog.

mr delon chew is marrried! for those who used to frequent #emirates, he is that delon guy who used to chat rather actively. he is blissfully married now to his lovely wife. wow-whee...am i growing up too fast or wat?

i wonder how it would be like when i personally recieve my first red invitation. how i would feel...dun count mr yeo's wedding please...haha...

i dun really wanna admit that time is passing so quickly, dun wanna admit that i am going on 21. for those who keep thinking wo kan bu kai that i am getting older, you are so very wrong. i just feel so empty inside actually...not as in emotionally empty...more like real emptiness that is constantly reminding me that i've accomplished nothing.

yes i noe, i'm a student, isn't studying my priority now? it is, and will be till i finish this blardy acca thingy. but the feeling isn't exactly the same being a private student. you meet different people and experience different lifestyles and schoollife. its just so different..

kenneth once told me to try applying for sim or smu, at least i'll get to experience campus life. i didn't think much of it when he suggested it initially...but its all starting to make sense now...-shrugs-

darling always says i give up halfway. but i'm determined to finish this race.

2005 seemed to have breezed through...i'm just so blessed to have met some really great people who have in one way or another, been influential in my life. to these special and important people, i lurve you guys. to people i've hurt, directly or indirectly, i'm really sorry.

i'm just a stubborn girl who doesn't know how to cherish and appreciate. my pride is always stopping me from speaking the truth, even if it meant hurting people who cares with good intentions. i'm evil.

somehow i feel i'm gonna regret some things later in life...and somehow its too late to salvage... its like crossing a shakey bridge too far you can't turn back...becoz its far and i am scared.

sighs...sleep kicking in. i'm sleep deprived.

Wow-whee!

my new lappy is residing at canberra road! with effect from 14th dec 2005...damn...that sentence sounds so "tax". i'm supposed to forget everything and move on you noe...hehe

sometimes, its take the correct time place and person to help someone move on...and for a particular someone, i'm so glad and happy that ur "someone" has appeared and moved you. hehe...

my lappy is so laggy in songs. have yet to transfer my mp3s back...my brother took this b&g cd i bought donkey years ago and played...and this song...with very nice lyrics...

[i want you to want me-solid harmony]
i want you to want me for all that i am
and, i hope that you would try to understand
do u feel the same?
do u feel the same?

and this song too...

[love me no more-bardot]
counting everyday that goes by
and the tears that i cried
you don't wanna love me no more
wish that you could hold me tonight
i'm hurting inside
cause you dun wanna love me...love me no more...

ah...classics!

the resolution is so so so small..i have to squint my eyes to see clearly....and lean near near to the screen. and my room is in a mess from unwrapping all the parts of the wires from the plastic wrappers. 2 weeks....i have 2 weeks of recuperation to do it. hee.

i need a cold shower...but i feel hungry suddenly...

lalala love song....lets never stop fall in love~

its peculiar how love touches you and stay...
its the both of you who made it happened that made ur love special...

oh and i wanna say...i'm so proud of mommie boey who finally managed to quit smoking! hehe...think these good news i've heard tonight closes year 2005 with a happy touch. somehow....i'm rather glad its over. i wan a happy year ahead k? hee

goodnights....try to sleep now close your eyes....

Exams are over!

finally the bloody two weeks of stress and torture is over. i've only left up till thurs to enjoy before the operation on friday. yes i know, its nutting major, but its gonna quarantine me at home for the next two weeks...all the way till year 2006!

new yr's resolution? i dun make them. but i really hope everyone around me would be happy!

there's so many things i wanna do. i wanna eat prata. i wanna go cafe. i wanna go ktv. i wanna go jb. i wanna watch movie. i wanna go shopping. and i've just woke up...wasted half a day already. sighs.

wondering where i'm blogging from when my com is down? i'm blogging on someone else's com lah...went to get my lappy yesterday le. the bloody prices in the waranty is so different from courts and harvey norman. courts wanted to charge me $459 for additional 2 yrs waranty. but harvey norman is only charging $350 for additional 4 yrs can? plus a free bundle of things. blah! lucky i didn't buy it from courts the other day!

going cafe tonight. its been more than a month le! haha...somehow i miss singing there. so meetng miss selyn and gonna enjoy myelf tonight.

my phone batt is left with like 10% to last me till tonight. so dun worry if u guys can't reach me yea? heee

happy! sha la la! jolene is so so happy! and i miss my darling boy! -muackz-

Hello people... Its been really long... Am i greatly missed? Hehe... Please bear with my paragraphing and stuff... Am trying to blog on my phone. Haha... I just figured i could surf using my phone like two days ago? Okie i admit... I'm slow lah can? The little darling left for bangkok already. I'm missing her so muchie! But i'm so so glad i managed to spend the last few days before they left with her. Hehe... Am getting a laptop soon too. Decided tat my desktop Is too bully and old....