Its been more than a week!

yes, this is the first time i've survived this long without my com!

busy mugging for exams....its really near now...

but no worries...i'm getting the com fixed...die die i would do so...coz i'm missing my nightly chats with myboy...

miss my darling soooooo muchie...-muackz-

love you sweetie.

Today is monday again..

Its amazing how fast a day can pass..waking up and meeting boey for lunch, then dinner with alan and boey...and now...its almost time for bed!

as usual, me and boey spent hours sitting below at my void deck. to avoid boredom, i bought an issue of CLEO. there's this featured article on "the ultimate guy's guide to OH-GOD-YES! SEX"

note:
girls-rip this out and leave it lying around for HIM to read.
guys-take note: this is how we like it!

lol...here goes...i'm only gonna extract parts which i feel is quite funny...please pardon my silliness if you sex experts out there don't think in the same way. afterall...i DON'T sleep around.

Hot sex DOs and DON'Ts-play by these rules and she'll be putty in your hands (me: wats putty?)
I only think the donts are funny...so here goes...
DON'T:

• just push her legs open, stick Mr Stiffy in and go for gold...unless you want to be regarded as a selfish jerk in bed.
• resort to using cooking oil/hair gel/shaving cream (trust us...it actually happened and it wasn't pretty!)
• say rude and stupid things like, "oh baby, you want my big cock, don't you?"
• suggest you shag her with a number of different vegetables instead!

turn-on....

"babe you're gorgeous; those legs are like heaven"

"let me know how you like it, beautiful. a little to the left? just there? harder? softer?

turn-off...just DON'T go there...

"you dirty whore, you bitch, you slut. you love it, don't you?"

"come here you naughty girl. daddy wants to play."

hehe...hao bu hao xiao?

i haven been exactly a great friend. i neglected my friend's feelings. in short, i just felt so awful when she started to tell me more things bout wat she's feeling and wat she's going through. seems that i can't do anything...and she had to leave already...so i guessed a hug heals some pain...i hoped it had...i'm sorry my dear, you had been always there for me...but yet i couldn't had done it. so sorrrrrrrrrry.

the very pretty boey, cute alan, and most pretty princess!

Love-O-Scope:

cancerians only..hehe..

singles: ahh....true love comes at last. be patient and you'll get all the affection and action you need from one impressive guy! leading your friends into spontaneous craziness will bring hot results.

couples: giving in to your romantic mood and making time for love will be your best therapy. by new year's a funky crowd will make you realise how much you still fancy each other.

aiya...so tired already...planned jb trip tml if alan manages to cheat a couple of days of mc. otherwise we'll just stay in singapore...it will be a cheering up outing for miss boey! we love ya!

I went to see the doctee!

i'm a good girl and i went to see the docteeee!

just several months back, sembawang opened this 7am to 11pm clinic at the mrt station. normal clinics actually close for lunch and dinner breaks right? but this clinic doesn't. so you dun have to worry walking there to find their doors closed. perhaps thats the reason why so many people patronise them. mind you, their fees ain't cheap okie...everytime i go, its bout 30 bucks. can vomit blood...so expensive!

anyway, money issue aside...i wanna talk bout the doctors. they actually have four different doctors rotating their shifts. and i visited the clinic exactly four times.

1st-stitching my poor little toe
2nd-removal of that 3 stitches
3rd-tightness in chest and breathless
4th-today, headache

and i must be so lucky...i got the honour to meet all four doctors during my four different visits.

and i dun like the one i saw today. pffts. he was so sarcastic!

doc: so wats wrong with you jolene?
me: oh having a very bad headache. two days already
doc: which side is it?
me: yesterday was on the right, today its on the left.
doc: so tml its at the back?

kaoz!!!!! wat kinda doc is this? lousy! not good looking already nvm le...still so mean to the patient! very the horrigible can?

but he was quite thorough with his checkup. he took my blood pressure and started frowning. it made me worried! then he turned to me and asked "are you having exams soon?" i find that "stress" is so poor thing. it always get blamed....everywhere you go, u hear ppl saying "stress ah stress ah..."

so yea...talk to him for 5 mins...let him touch touch hear hear see see abit only...30 bucks lor. but the medicine is good...i took it and the headache subsided within 5 mins. haha...-thumbs up-

its cruel..the way i'm needing you..
guess i'll play the fool...
its my heart and my mind and its taking over...
cruel...suddenly its true...
no longer can i choose...
its in you, undefined and there is no other...

lalalalala~...

mommie's mopping my room now.

hee...the sick princess gets to take a rest from doing household chores. hiak hiak.

me: mommie your pi gu very big leh.
mum: otherwise how to have the three of u?!
me: hahahahahaha!!!
mommie was so paiseh when i laughed so loudly. now now if u wan kids...you need someone with big butts? haha...wat a old fashion thinking...but it seems very true..

seems like i've been blogging quite often these few days...am just too lazy to study..plus i'm sick now...so it makes me even lazier. and the freaking weather is making me so uncomfortable. bleah...

i want snow in singapore. you better start snowing tonight!

oh...and i think its time to cut my hair...the ends are really dry. i know i'll definitely cry and whine lots after that. please bear with me everybody. or should i wait? headache leh!!!!

Not feeling that good...

I laid sprawled on my bed, dozing off at around 9.30pm. it took lotsa determination to wake up to pee 30 mins later as well as to switch off the lights. and then i went back to bed and had a light sleep...very very light...i could almost sense my surroundings. until zhao jian called me to ask some questions on tax. and now is when i'm officially awake.

I'm getting the giddy spells as i'm typing away. i feel both hot and cold. the flu and fever bug seems to be setting in. already, my nose is blocked. my throat hurts. and my headache is very faithful...from morning till now you noe...

the suniton tablets lying on my desk is tempting me. its a super strong muscle-relaxant with drowsiness effect. its confirm knock out after taking it...and i dun really feel like being so dependent on it. but it looks like i am going to have to take it. the pain is killing me.

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Actually blogged the above entry 30mins ago...and i came across mel's blog.

"I told her that we're never going to be able to forget about those who once used to occupy our hearts because the memories will always live in us. but really, people if you haven't gotten over someone who you used to love so much, never ever rush or step into another relationship out of emotional fulfillment; to have someone there for you, to love you and to care for you cause as soon as you start to realise all that, you're probably just putting yourself in a worse position than before."

i realised, reading wats happening to others, and reading their thoughts and reflections makes me think bout my own situation. it might not be the same problems. it might not even have the slightest connection. but somehow, i'm just shook by it.

we're never going to be able to forget bout those who once used to occupy our hearts becoz the memories will always live in us. how true is that? how many of u can forget bout ur first love? or rather someone u once loved? there's a difference between really putting the love you once had down, and choosing to ignore it and placing it aside. and when u feel that you could not erase these memories, do not expect the same from ur partner. everyone is "entitled" to these memories somehow. as long as you know where to draw the line...as long as you know wat u are doing, who you are loving now, who matters most to you... don't end up hurting someone you have no intention to...the guilt will stay in you...and chances are, if that someone was once dear to you, you'll be hurting too.

you never know when u're gonna recover from this emotional pain...simple words, songs, places, items could just spark old memories, making you reminisce(i noe this looks funny...but the spelling is something like that) bout the past all over again. if this brings a smile on ur face, you are lucky to have and only remember happy events. if it saddens you, makes you tear and affects your loved ones around you, somehow i feel...there's more to meet the eye. you're not totally over...your heart hasn't stop loving or thinking bout that person...and why do we act all fine and chirpy?

we are all liars.

we lie to friends who are concerned. we lie to our partners. we lie to our own hearts. we lie to ourselves. becoz that's the only way to make both parties feel better. to allow you to move on without looking back anymore. to give you the courage to accept someone new and try to be happy.

And in wat positions are we in, to decide wat's best for our partners and whether or not the decisions we make will benefit them and make them happy?

as i continue typing...i just feel that sometimes we are just so selfish. how many ppl have you hurt in order to protect ur personal interest? how many times were there when you guys said something you hadnt meant but just for the sake of it? why are relationships always so complicating?

I love you...oh yes I do...
yi zhi dou bu fang qi...zhe ai ni de quan li...

myboy once said...if you choose to embrace the love, then it will stay and last forever. if not, the feelings will just fade with time. -yawnz- i'm losing myself le...incoherence...

missing you dear..-huggies-

goodnite all..

I really can't believe this...

I just woke up and my mother decided to throw a stupid question at me. i personally felt it was stupid..and u guys would have to judge for urself.

its a matter regarding credit cards. and this was wat she asked:
"wats the difference between a visa and a credit card?"

"theres no difference. a credit card can be visa, masters, jcb, amex, etc. its just like singtel starhub m1 is the provider to the service kind." -me

"no...cannot be...the guy told me he is giving me the gold card which is a visa, then the platinum card which is a CREDIT CARD." -mum

seriously, how toot can that guy go? is he trying to tell my mum that only one is a credit card? its plain obvious, that both cards are credit cards. or am i just wrong to assume that a gold card and a platinum card are both credit cards? and if credit cards didn't worked on the common visa and master, wat is that? nets maybe? utter bull. my mum was insisting there's a difference despite me telling her very nicely that its just the same.

she got me quite pissed..becoz her skull is made of stone and nutting can penetrate her ideas. i didn't wanna flare up becoz its seem abit rude to do so the first thing i woke up. but she kept repeating the visa and credit card issue, then i have to ask her "so are you telling me there's a difference between the nets u use from POSB and the nets u use from OCBC? the concept is the same...think bout it..."

haha...i've got a feeling my mum's slow...maybe there's where i got my VERY SLIGHT slowness. i remembered explaining to her the payroll system at synovate for the surveryors cause she seemed interested. i explained twice, till i was about to vomit out some of my internal organs, and even my 11 yr-old brother understood, but she just still couldn't get it. my smart lil brother could even quote her examples with figures. but no...mommie dearest dun understand.

sometimes...i just feel that she is just not acting her age. i know, u guys are thinking i'm not too..especially myboy, but her case seems far worse than mine.
For example, she couldn't/wouldn't...

• go downstairs to the ntuc alone to do some marketing for dinner. she would insist she has company otherwise the whole family shall just starve and survive on canned food for dinner.
• go anywhere when its raining becoz its a hassle to carry an umbrella. for goodness sake...when u gotta go, u gotta go wah!
• go and buy lunch or eat alone or go for her checkups alone.
• stop repeating her stand and it irks us
• accept ur logic and the fact that she is wrong

my mum is just plain stubborn.

she is now like a do-nutting homemaker (reads: idle housewife). oh yeah...and i forget to mention her favourite line she might start using from 8.30pm onwards every single day "today very tired...i wanna sleep early le."

i was quite exasperated when she told me that two nights ago. okie i'm not bitching bout my mum here. i love her lots and i appreciate what she has done so far. but her actions can't account for her words and i couldn't accept it. i just need to let out some frustration. okie back to my point, she did nutting at home on that particular day, except to flip the newspaper and cook dinner. and that was the canned dinner i talked bout. no, she didn't mop the floor. no, she didn't wash the toilets or anywhere in the house. no, she didn't do any laundry. come on, wats so tiring bout your day?

its totally ok when she lamented bout her tiredness when she was juggling work full time at singtel and coming home to cook dinner occasionally. but the cooking stopped ever since i started my second sem without working at Carrefour because I, took over cooking. i understand how working can be so mentally and physcally draining. now...i see no reason for her to say she's so tired and stuff.

my mum's just used to this way of living i guess. even my dad tries to avoid her nagging by playing dumb. but i guess all mothers are the same. they ain't mommies if they dun nag. gosh...i really can't picture myself like that in future. this is freaking depressing to think of, even now!

breakfast served on a plate. the princess need to eat.

xing fu de gan jue~

And as i held her in my arms, i felt a sudden gush of happiness. xing fu de gan jue. Really, this feeling beats everything...except for the love i have for myboy thats it. hee.

carrying her, talking to her, feeding her, listening to her baby talk...it just makes me wanna be a mommie leh! i know i've said this probably a million times...but the feeling is just so blissful...my arms are aching for having carried her for the past 2 hours.. but i'm all smiley..jie jie loves you k little darling~

I felt as though i've been thru hell days for the past two days. unexpected things happened, i'm glad its over and solved.

i love myboy and myboy loves me. dun wanna lose you now...not now not in time to come. xing fu jiu zai wo men de shou shang!

Bing, Bang, Biang!

-looks out of my windows-

the storm is scary...my curtains are doing flying stunts. the sky is overcast.

this reminds me of essays openings way back in primary school. like how my teacher used to say...be descriptive! be descriptive! all these descriptions became bullshit once u stepped outta the narative writings and into tertiary levels. GP essays no longer need you to describe the skies and the weather. you describe the world and address their issues. u give your own thesis statement. and u bull around...but this time with actual facts.

i always believe english is based on a strong foundation from back to the first day you learn english. no point trying to work super duperly hard only 2 months before the big exam. you'll find yourself cursing the wasted time and effort. and you'll blame urself for not starting early.

its always a wonder how i managed to bang my B3 in GP. it may be no surprise to my classmates coz my grades had been above average as compared to theirs. But for those ang-moh kias out there, just read carefully at the way i phrase my sentences and you will notice. my ideas jumble around...wat i type doesn't make sense. theres no link or wat-so-ever. i type what i feel and think right on the spot.

that is me. it makes up my character. i do things and talk without really thinking. to some, it may seem that this girl is simply a brainless nutcase who is too shallow to even think bout the consequences of wat she is doing or saying. to others, i'm simply a simple girl who has no evil intentions becoz everything just comes straight out of my mouth and mind. no intentions of hurting anyone...no intentions of harming anyone...though i know the opposite always happens. sighs.

okie, so let me think, wat was the purpose of this entry? hehe...actually i just wanted to blog bout the rain...and how it always threatens to rain heavily whenever there's tax revision class.

just as i thought the sky is starting to clear for me to make my way to school, i hear thunder. its such a bother to bring a brolly. i'm a lazy princess.

wo shi ni she mo ren
ru guo bu shi qing ren
shi bu shi bu yao zai lang fei wo de ren sheng

i just submitted the application form for AISS, and already the person in charge has called me. how efficient is that? i have no interest leh!!!! really no interest!!!! diaoz...bothersome...

some people wait a lifetime...for a moment like this..

its always too late when u start regretting. regretting how u didn't do things right...or how u shd have done things in another way right from the beginning. and if it came to a point where there's no turning back, you gonna live with it. happy or not...i think its all up to the way u wanna accept it. if u embrace it with your all, u might find urself being able to accept it on a lighter note. otherwise, you might just find urself in denial or just living in pain. dun always think it only happens in dramas, dramas have real life situations too.

oh we were kissing with our eyes closed so tight
so young and feeling so right
never thought that we could be wrong

its time...for me to go...

i dun like geylang...got indian men...and lotsa men...lecherous men...old men...nutting against men...i just dun like the men there...they stare and they stare. and got lotsa prostitutes near my school too. yucks. hope goh dun drag our lessons any later tonight. amen.

I miss you like crazy even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy every min of every day

most songs out there are sad love songs. wats wrong? can't some composers write something sweet and happy? not every love story ends up wrong you know...hehe..

dearest dearest...i lurve ya~!

Kiss...

Because i'm a girl..

was browsing thru my winamp list when i saw this 8-min long mtv. who says tong hua mtv is touching and sad? wait till u guys see this one.

it never fails to make me cry...its just so so so sad...

it made me felt even more depressed when the girl eventually did not stayed by his side after he gave up his eyes for her. why like that?!

is this wat u call life?

or maybe its just me again...too many softspots present in my heart already...

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met up with boey and alan for dinner. then had pool session. of coz i was like the audience watching them play. dun like playing pool...somemore i was wearing skirt.

alan was abit high...in his very short shorts...and very weird accent in speaking. he pronounced "sexy" as "sassy" or was it "sarsi"? nvm...it just got me confused. raisng my brows, i went "huh? sexy or sasyy or sarsi?"

and mr neo bei bei never fails to entertain us with his hilarious shots at pool.
the most interesting conversation tonight:
boey: woah...u die liao...see wat u gonna hit.
alan: i hit the green one first lor.
-turns and aim-
i was looking at him aim and the next i knew...the white ball did a super flying stunt and whizzed outta the table. i BURST out in laughter while alan went in search for his ball. it actually rolled 2 tables away and landed beside this group of young chaps playing billard. i could see that fellow's blur expression when he saw the white ball beside his feet. and the timing was so right...alan was already bending to pick up the ball. i regretted not filming that down...my reflex ain't fast enough...yes yes i'm slow...i would never forget that paiseh look on his face...allanny you made my day! haha..

congrats to xiao an! finally got together with someone he loves! better cherish k boy? hehe..

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mei mei's first paper this afternoon, math c paper 1. she said it was okie...but lets just pray for the best. seriously hope she would do well enough to choose the course she wanna do in uni. better than bumming around like me. haha...not to mention, she would be able to prove her capability to everyone. so good luck to you lil sister.

zhi shi..ai yao zhe mo shuo chu kou..
wo de xin li hao nan shou..
ru guo neng jiang ni yong you..
wo hui ren zhu bu rang yan lei liu..

another nice song...who cares if its way back...its simple nice!

When you feel like giving up, think of the reason you held on for so long.

I love you

I still love you

I do love you

Lots lots deep deep

you may be the thorn embedded in my flesh, bringing me pain...yet providing me with your love and giving me warmth.

You're being appreciated dear. no more silly thoughts for me..

Super-Princess!

I'm mopping the floor and downloading jay's new album at the same time.

how i do it?

well zhao jian is sending me and persuading me to join the AISS committee for year 2006. seriously i have no interest in running for it. neither do i have any passion for making ACCA a better studying route for the students. i get wanna pass and get over with studying life.

but, the guys seemed so interested. they had been talking about it since yuzhen's bday chalet last night. and zhao jian has been talking to me very nicely bout it. sighs. i'm just gonna submit the application form and hopes it get lost halfway. since submission is by email, i'll pray for it to be filtered as trash.

haha...mean huh?

i'm gonna go back to mopping my house. lucky i'm done with the rooms. only left with my big big hallway. plus kitchen. i'm so domesticated right? see mr huang u are one lucky man. :p

think ntu students starting their exams next week. good luck to all my darlings taking their exams. -big hug- hope ur mugging works!

dearest told me he felt so blessed today. becoz he loves me and he has my love. and he's gonna be mine forever. once my silly boy...forever my silly boy. -huggies- i'm so glad to be loving you and being loved by you too darling. Its a magical feeling. I'm so blessed too! I heart You.

I'm tired

even before i head outta the door, i'm tired.

today is supposedly a happy day. becoz its yuzhen's birthday celebration. she's turning 21 tml, but her bash's today.

i knew i had already told you. and yet i also knew it was my fault when i forgotten to remind you last night.

i'm sorry. and i noe i'm in for it cause everytime u are unhappy, i'll be hearing words which i wouldn't wanna hear from you.

our arguement was like a roller coaster ride.

just when i thought everything was okie, u told me more.

i'm not gonna type them out here, coz its our private affair. but remember, if its hurting you, its hurting me too.

you told me last night, love isn't enough for us to face all the challenges we have in front of us. i have to admit, sometimes i do wonder is love enough for us to keep this going too.

i dun feel restricted. i feel suffocated.

i still love you. but we're both tired.

i remembered asking you where did we go wrong. and ur reply was "i think both of us are trying too hard that we failed." i've been escaping from the fact that we failed, again and again. perhaps its time for me to come to terms with it. I failed..

i dunno how to go about doing things anymore. changes doesn't come overnight. though it may seems that i dun bother, but i can stand up for myself and tell you, i'm really trying. i know i promised, but there's always room for mistakes. i'm just a normal forgetful girl.

tell me dear..really..wat's there that i can do to make you happy?

Hari Raya

jolene: eh wat must i say to boey's parents when i see them? wat did u tell them last year?
alan: huh? -shrugs his shoulders- dunno leh.
jolene: boey told me to say "selamat hari raya" leh. haha...i'm used to saying happy new year!

yea yea~ so we went boey's house on thurs...the food was yummy...but i had no appetite. all thanks to my wonderful cramps.

there was curry chicken...the satay type of rice...mutton...and that dish with the cow's tongue! i didn't noe it was inside. neither did i take that dish. but boey say nice, must try! so i stole from salleh's plate while he went to wash his hands! one small mouthful only...i also dunno wat i chewed, but it tasted quite nice. UNTIL...UNTIL...UNTIL...boey said "this is the dish with the cow's tongue in it!" i wanted to spit it out...but i scared its a rude gesture...immediately my face changed colour. and meanie boey was laughing so loudly!

i was quite shameless...i've gotten myself a new bf! and i simply adore him!

there he is! when i beckon him to come over, he actually did and held my hand! =heart melts=




Don't we look preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeety? hee~

its so enjoyable to see her family gather around. i could feel her family warmth.
there was her brother who looked so proud carrying little nurul.
her parents who were so busy yet so happy doing everything.
her nephews and nieces, though i dunno them..but they all looked so happy!

i dun even feel this way during chinese new year. haha i'm so deprived!

oh and my cramps were so bad...i could feel them even while sleeping. periods are a torture. MEN, please be appreciative of ur WOMAN. notice its singular? yea! one man one WOMAN! ONE! ONE! ONE!


here's my little precious. she came over my house today. i'm really in love with babies!

Blurr-rrry

i think lazing around at home has done nutting beneficial to my brains. its getting rusty, slow, and mal-functioning.

earlier on, as i was collecting my notes handouts from the recep counter outside the classroom, i was positive i was holding onto my hp pouch. and i was holding my jacket as well. when they required me to produce my ACCA pass, i put my pouch down, followed by my jacket, then my bagpack.

i was late, and flustered bout being late. so upon collecting my notes, i sort of hugged the whole pile and walked towards class. then i realised i wasn't holding onto my pouch! so i went back frantically to look for it. it was so embarrassing when my phone slipped outta that pile and my lecturer laughed and said "you ah...blur leh!" and does the knocking action on my head. hee~

as i anticipated, the lesson dragged on. supposed to end at 10.15pm, but it ended at 10.40pm instead. you noe cpa house...located at aljunied...lotsa prostitutes and indians and MEN. lecherous ones...i felt so unsafe walking. i turned to xueling and said "thank goodness i have you with me." yea it was that scary.

and sembawang isn't safe anymore! got BLACKMEN!

i was stonning as i walked outta the train. i walked towards the escalator and there were these 3 blackmen. they were looking at me as though i didn't have any clothes on u noe? so ke pa~ they looked up and down and back up to ur face. or was it chest? one of those.

immediately i stopped walking. its okie...i can give way. i can sarcrifice a few seconds to reach home later. but...why is it always me? -sobs sobs-

blah~ so full...so tired...

And the Spurs finally won Western conference!

damn. i dun even noe whether the thats the correct name of the basketball team i played against. but the word "western" is definitely correct. hee. and spurs too!

my biological clock is screwed. so i was unable to doze off despite my horrible headache.

solution?

i took out the psp and played the basketball game. i discovered i had the natural talent for it. hah! winning is like "chicken feet" you noe...it comes so easily. and it got me hooked on the game becoz well...i like to WIN.

since i wasn't the sportgirl kinda sister that my siblings known me to be, they were all saying its beginner's luck. and they challenged me to play against the better rating teams instead of the lousy ones i played and won. as if i knew which team is good..

i was really adamant on beating this particular western team becoz i lost to them 3 times last night! i really just felt like slamming the psp on the wall or something.

muahahaha...guess wat? i won them today! earlier on! hiak hiak hiak.

no more kick. i've conquered it.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!

i've wasted almost two days. no good no good. time to study a little my dear.

ps: my sister just asked me questions regarding chem. its been donkey years since i last studied. as if i remember everything? haha...you got to be kidding little sister.