I had to convince myself that i'm fine, before i could have convinced you.

was i successful?

i seriously hope i won't be grouchy later.

-grrrrsss-

i is going to write a story....

so, people say i am a happy and cheery girl. which is very true. i go to the office and happily greet everybody "good morning" in my high pitch voice. to the extent that my supervisor commented she felt oddly weird when i didnt greet her one fine morning.

the other only time when i wasn't my usual self was weeks and weeks ago, when fatigue was taking over my entire mind and body, and i was very very quiet.

this is not the gist. actually it is. no..i mean..i'm always happy!

today was the first time i felt stress at work. one, i'm given more workload. two, it means more responsibility. three, the rest are busy with their own closing to do. four, my supervisor is on a 2-weeks urgent leave.

tried to clear as much pending billing as possible, but it just kept coming. to top it off, i thought i had misplaced one of the invoice, which customer demanded a credit note because of err in billing. i panicked. i searched. still i couldn't recall where i place it.

this proves one thing right: your brain doesnt think right when u are panicky.

towards the end of the day, i discovered the invoice somehow. it was my fault. mine. i am simply too forgetful!!! but, its discovery made me smile again. luckily i didnt really lose the document. i can't imagine the consequences of it if i did lor!

rushed off to town. did mani and pedi. so love! but it made me uber late for class.

and i got to see the fireworks after class!!! whee~!

then terror began after me and my new classmates bid goodbye at the platform.

i thought gays are gentlemen. but apparently i was proven very wrong. because of the IMF, trains at this late hour are usually quite empty. i was standing right in front when this gay simply cut in front of me to reserve two seats, one for him and the other for his partner. wah kaoz!

nair mind. i still got seat mah...so i stand beside him and a weird man(wm).

wm really looks weird lah. his eyes were so listless, he looked like he is deprived of drugs. i started feeling uncomfortable when he eyed at me, and my phone. after fidgeting for a couple of times, and dropping his easilink card on the floor, he striked a conversation...

wm: miss, wat is the time now?
me: -looks at phone- its 10.25pm.
wm: oh, does this train go to kallang?
me: -thinks how can someone his age ask such a dumb qn. mrt is like our main transport system in sg!- oh no it doesn't. u need to alight and take the train from the other direction.
wm: oh...can i ask a favour from you?
me: -sensed danger- wat you want?
wm: i lost my wallet and my easilink card. can u spare me $4?
me: -hesitates- i think you shd get down and seek help from the control station. they will assist you.
wm: no no i just need $4.
me: -hesitates further- i still think u shd approach them.
wm: i'm not trying to ask for money. i just need a mere $4.

i ignored him and put back my earphones. not to mention his breath stinks. if you are really that hard up, you wouldn't even be able to buy ciggies. his breath reeks of stale ciggies and every word he speaks is pure agony to my nose.

wm knew i wouldn't be so stupid to give it to him, so he approach this young chap beside him. and asshole...he only asked for $0.50 lor! fuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! wat if outta pity i really had given him the money?! never call police to catch you very good already.

but really, that experience was scary. i was so shocked i nearly wanted to cry.

just when i thought i had became stronger, i myself proved myself wrong. sighs, but why do things only happen when i go or return from my vocal class?! so bad affinity meh?!

and i'm so hungry now...no dinner leh...sobs....i need a huggies.

Finally she's out!!

Finally the votes made sense!!

Finally the voters are sensible!!!

jonathan, the guy whose voice i fell in love with the very first time they aired his audition on channel 5.

hady, the guy who has the upper hand in looks, but not vocally.

not a racist, but quoting my brother "singapore's chinese race stands at 70%, jonathan should have a higher chance by right!" i dunno, i like both. still, i would like to see jon win. :)

i am dead tired!!

Give me this...

And i'll say "i do"!!!!

was flipping through magazines from local floral shops, and this bouquet caught my eye. its looks so captivating, i almost wished it was mine! plus its all pinky and stuff....u get my point?

work's good...coping fine apart from feeling damn sleepy in the day. its as if i have difficulty in keeping my eyes open. i like the environment here...and i'm sure glad to enjoy the company of my fellow colleagues.

sure, i've made lots of friends in the past 20 years or so...but i can recite names off my head, those ppl who are important to me, who i spent most of my time with.

and when u step out into the working society, you spend time with colleagues. and so its important to be blessed with them! see huishan and sapphire jie jies, you both very impt k?!

i always find it hard to accept how people claimed that a special someone could change ur life permanently, for better or for worse. until i experienced it myself. don't probe about what had happened, cause i'm not prepared to start pouring out everything. this is afterall a blog, and i am my own best friend. but it had changed me to what i am today, drastically. it matured me, it saddened me, it made me lose faith in things which i once thought was magical and lovely, it made me what i am now.

i believe i'll never walk out of it, i hate the mixed emotions inside of me.

Question: What shouldn't a 21 year-old be doing?
Answer: Getting an invitation to someone's wedding and having to give a red packet out of her/his own money.

Life is super duper sad. if you don't already know or bother to know, i was feeling a lil under the weather. since last friday, my left thumb hurt like shit, and i could hardly move it. then came monday, i had full blown migraine that lasted all the way till thurs.

everybody together....-sighs-

so i happily return to office on friday, inwarding cursing myself for not whining to the doc for another day of mc, only to be greeted by my supervisor's red invitation. i forced a big smile and said "thank you!"

my heart sank so deep so deep. i is not jealous that he is getting hitch and i'm not k? i just felt that i am not ready to be invited to a wedding individually. i'm not used to recieving an invitation addressing to my name only. and...and...and....not forgetting it has a catch-an ang bao is involved.

i am already feeling so broke. the only comfort is, the wedding is held after payday. amen.

enough said of sad things, i went JB on sat!!!!!!

siw choo's bf brought us to this place where they served ice cream and finger food, and the place is kinda relaxing and romantic in a way. and he was so sweet can? before meeting up with us, he bought flowers and placed it at the restaruant already. so when we arrived and comfortably seated, he presented the bouquet to her. awwwww....

then we went bowling. hehehe...i am so so so rusty. can you believe i was the champion drain cleaner for the first game? clocking a score of 19, i am even ashame to blog it here. of coz, my usual score ain't that high either, but it was NEVER this low. how was i gonna answer to colleagues when they witness me play that LOUSY? into the fourth game and i was easily scoring like 90, at least its comforting to know i could still bowl relatively well after a 4 year hiatus.

that left me with a strain and aches. old liao.

i tot it was only early afternoon when we ended the 4 games. guess wat, it was already 6! so we shopped around a lil before we went for our ultimate objective: seafood feast!!!

we had....
satay
otah
kailan
some cabbage looking veg
hotplate tofu
clams
gong-gong
steam fish
butter prawns
chili crabs
coconut

and we all nearly burst. all these for 220 bucks. RM. i think its blardy cheap!

and the ambience is so nice, its just one sea-distance away from sembawang!

after dinner was a late night movie. we watched snakes on a plane, and people, that show is gross. you should never ever watch it! i believed i screamed twice, scaring my colleagues who claimed her 5 year-old son wasn't even half as scaredy cat as me. but well, i'm a girl, and her child is a boy, so....he's supposed to be braver isn't he?!

i wasn't really paying attention to the FBI till he mentioned his name. his name is Flynn. if you guys had been reading my blog regularly, you would know who is Flynn. and i started missing him all over again.

my sister told me that movie is rated M18 in sg. funny that there's no such regulations over at malaysia. they allowed a 5 yr-old in....maybe its becoz they cut away all those nipple revealing scenes which my sister claimed she saw.

the point is, dun watch it.