Long distance

when i'm feeling blue
lost without a clue
sparks between arise
nothing can be as true

sing my life for you
paintings that i drew
one plus one makes two
how i wish to caress you

tell me where we're heading to
what we do may seem so cruel
was it good enough
goodbye is the time you leave its the time you break my heart in two

even though we're far apart
send my love with all my heart
when you miss me at night
look at the stars shinning bright

for the times you pull me through
all the things i do for you
running tears from my eyes
thinking how will I survive
next goodbye

its the longest saturday ever.

my whole body is aching. i'm red as a lobster. and i feel so hung over.

Asian Aerospace 2006

said to be the last ever aerospace before they name it something else. so, since there were free tix, i went.

nothing that spectacular. even the airshow this year lose out to the one i saw a couple of years back. but the airbus 380 was really HUGE.

it was a windy day at first while we were viewing the airshow. but it was damn sunny and hot as well. yea, i forgot to use my brains to bring an umbrella. and my hat was almost blown away from the powerful winds a couple of times.

i wasn't at all burnt while basking in the sun for that 2 hours. it was around 3 when we entered the actual areas that i was burnt in the short duration of 15 mins. the reason, we had to cross an open space from one hall to another.

i wasn't in the mood to really walk around due to some reaons. but seeing some cute pilots, and TAKING pictures with them lifted my spirits a little. its not totally wasted waking up early and getting that tan.

Eddie's 21st

hopped over to eddie's chalet thereafter. he stated 5pm in his sms. but he starved me till a good 7.30pm before he allowed me to eat! horrible creature. but the potato salad his mommie made was yummy. and the mutton curry was good.

its okie for someone's mom to bring a girl around to socialise if she was her son's gf. but somehow it felt weird when she introduced me to her family. yah i know, they may have met me when i was much younger and smaller. but it feels weird you know? just smile and wave and talk alittle, then it was ah girl to the rescue! hehe...luckily the mom intro her to them too...so i could run away. afterall, we all grew up together.

this was what i wrote on his bday recept card "The first girl you kissed wishes you a happy 21st birthday!" lucky he dumped his singapore gf already. otherwise she might stab me with the plastic forks.

his GOOD FRIENDS made him stripped down to his boxers, imaginerily fuck the lampost, made him do pumpings army-style, threw him into the pool, and to get this girl to wish him happy birthday.

the pictures are taking a long time to be uploaded. i'll do so another day.

Janice's 21st

i had to rush off to another great buddy's party after ed's. lucky for me, the two locations were relatively near, pasir ris and changi. but the stupid cabbie dropped me at some weird places. i ended up having to look for the actual location alone and in the dark. freaky.

stayed around for awhile, before the girls decided to head over my place for some drinks.

i looked so lobstery red with my bloodshot eyes, the guy at 7-11 asked me "wow, back from clubbing?" must be the bottle of breezer i drank at ed's.

i feel so tired and aching all over now. my face is itching. i bet its gonna peel real soon.

pictures another time.

A relationship with no trust will not survive

I find myself missing you...

how?

imagine you are happily attached, and u totally trust your guy.

then he revealed he had a one-night stand with his ex-gf. NO feelings involved, its just the alcohol and loneliness. he STILL loves you one and only.

how would you feel?

guys like them, do not deserve a second chance.

when you love, you risk the tendancy of a heartbreak. of coz there's also the happily-ever-after couples, but other than them, its pain or loneliness.

which would you choose?

love makes you fall head over heels. but whenever i watch tv that portrays such negative imagines, i get scared. its a little silly i know. but somehow i can't help feeling vulnerable to the clutches of the word love.

i was commenting and vexing about certain issues earlier on. its kinda ironic how you or people surrounding you can't figure out the best solution, or whatever that say might not make sense, but a stranger or someone not related would be the one giving the best advice. it stringed up my thoughts, and..... lets just say i know what to do.

that aside, gotten my results today. not satisfying, not good. sighs...

do this k?
http://kevan.org/johari?name=joenE

us in the middle of taka while choosing something lah...

anyway, the contents of what we bought for certain people are gonna be kept confidential until the persons received them lah.

and i'm just gonna blog bout wat i saw today...

this is the front cover of a card. so sweet right? then the inside is....

ignore the happy birthday lah...but its just so sweeeeet lah...

then we went kino. i was flipping thru some horoscope books...and it says...

i find the "why you're impossible" section VERY TRUE! and the next page says...

mommie's boy?!

and another book says this...

where's my Mr Leo?!

results out in 12 hrs time. i am freaking out. i feel so jittery. this sucks. dun panic if anyone can't get me tml. its only normal.

-sobs-

i'm not sleeping, because i'm waiting for my phone to finish charging.

sounds stupid, but yea, thats the reason.

and after reading the 50 most eligible bachelors, i came up with some common facts

1) most guys chose to be wolverine as the superhero they wanna be. i dunno...but why?
2) they would lurve to have sex at some kinky and public place.
3) they prefer their girl to hold some weird jobs.
4) most guys prefer bitches than bimbos. ladies' "i dun give a damn" kind of attitude turns them on.
5) they prefer women who are sporty and loves the sun.
6) they actually love chocolates!
7) they have very nice eyes and smile.
8) they aren't exactly that appealing and goodlooking to me.
9) the ones who want their wifey to be a housewife looks and talk very MCP-ly.

-yawns-

off to la la land very soon

my friend came over the other day, to scan some pictures for another friend's upcoming 21st pressie.

while looking at our past pictures, wow we certainly grew up quite abit.

when u dun get to see someone for a long period of time, and then suddenly u bumped into him/her, the first thing you noticed is how much their appearance changed.

all the cuckoo hairstyes, thick rimmed glasses, very black hair, small lil ear studs are no longer part of us.

as we gradually grow up, we made changes and accepted them naturally. so to us, we didn't think so much of it. but to someone who hardly ever sees you, they may exclaim in shock bout how you currently look.

pre-school: i had straight bangs and semi-long hair. halfway down my back, but please take into consideration my then back and now back are of diff lengths cause i grew up?

pri 1: i had the typical short ear length hair with straigh fringe across. my sis had the same hairdo as well. wat was my mom thinking?

pri 2: i was determined to keep my hair uber long because 1) i nv had hair so long and 2) this girl in my class had freaking long hair and i was weirdly jealous. the bad thing was, my hair was rather thick and silky, so mommie found it hard to tie. and i was terribly fussy bout it. any slight mess or hair outta place, i would suggest she re-tie it. so often, i went to sch without tying. the short and fat DM bu shuang my pretty hair and threatened to cut it off. so after a couple of months....i snipped it off. yes i know, i was willing to do so in the past, when i was barely 2 digits old!

pri 3-4: it stayed short...and weird cause thats when my natural curl came. it made me look so messy, i decided i shd keep my hair long again, so that i could tie it up.

pri 5: my straight fringe no longer stayed straight. then it became messy...so i wore a hairband lor...

pri 6: i still wore the hairband and my hair reached record long! i am still very much hoping to achieve that length once again. hehe...

after PSLE, i cut if all off. my friends were so shocked because they couldn't believe i was willing to part with all my hair. and i was secretly pleased when my then crush told me i looked nicer without the hairband.

sec 1 to 4: i've always tied up my hair in sch. nopes, no hairband le. no longer that geeky.

jc 1&2: very long and dyed hair. if not for my very abide-by-the-rules civics tutor, i wouldn't even wanna tie up my hair. but she everyday catch, i also sian.

okie digress a little, this was what she told me on the very first day i stepped into her class:
she: jolene ah, u using pink rubber band? u noe the school rules hor? only black or brown or blue allowed hor? please change it tml hor? then right, ur hair looks brownish to me leh..u dyed ur hair? please dye it back soon hor? the sch will conduct spotchecks one. and ur ankle socks, cannot wear hor. must wear normal above ur ankle ones. somemore its blue in colour. please wear only white socks ok? and ur skirt, abit short leh. can buy longer skirts to wear not? must be almost touching ur knees you know? -shakes head- then ur earrings. only can wear one pair. you wear so many, somemore dangling ones...please remove them NOW.

heh, can die hor?

okie, return back to my entry, after i left sch, i seldom tie up my hair le. haha...and now i wonder, what am i supposed to do with my entire collection of hair accessories. most of which are new and unused. anybody wants them? lol..

joenE-?要耐心等待　仔??找　感?很重要 我相信在??世界上　一定?遇到 ?的人出?在眼角(my nick on msn)

friend: so you waiting for the right one har?
me: no, i already found someone.

blah! i'm so bored but i can't sleep now. i have so many bday pressies to buy, i wanna go bang my head against the wall. why is everyone turning 21?

i have an unread copy of cleo lying in my bag. i bought it because of the 50 most eligible bachalors issue. as i browse thru it, i was so disappointed. no one special, worse still, i saw my sec sch teacher as the number 3 candidate!!!! girls!!! u remember who is kenneth low not?!!!

goodness...his say on the best spot for sex is...in a bathtub!

i bet all their pictures are photoshoped!

go grab ur copy now...it has two free whisper pads. anybody wants them? i happen to not use whisper.

-off to read my mag-

I am frustrated

iwannasmackmyself

theressomanythingsi'vebeensupressinginsidebuthavenocouragetotalkboutitorevenmentionit

i'vereachedthepointwherei'llnolongermentionanythingifnoonehadnoticedit

itjusthurtstotalkboutitopenlyandmyprideisholdingmebackeverytime

somethingsmayneverhaveanotherchanceagain

goodniteeveryone

Its all but an excuse...

i remember the last time i was pms-ey and was at hark cafe, selyn was adamant that i needed some coco in my blood.

and so did my vocal instructor.

i don't usually crave for sweet things. i believed the only reason i took chocs was because my aunt used to import GOOD QUALITY chocs back when she was still a cabin crew. it was those melt in ur mouth pure milk chocs. and the authentic chocs tasted fantabulous.

i remembered my young fav was the toberlone. the triangle kind? yum yum...

okie, i was trying to link pms with chocolatety.

and my point is, yes, chocs are of some help.

i couldn't resist the chocs placed in front of me earlier. i just popped them into my mouth, one piece after another. and it wasn't even the kind of expensive and great tasting ones...but its CHOCOLATES!!!

i was already full from dinner...and yet i made space for them.

its not greed! its a need for bleeding women!



still...i can do nothing bout the cramps and its crappy feel. urgh!

i did the sillest and blurest thing today.

it only costed me 70 cents. but i woke up real early for it.

the only consolation i got, was to bump into bunnie and her babysitter. and bunnie gave jiejie a big smile! so love...

so tired now...

msn only has those working ppl talking to me...

and i seriously do not need to know what u got for ur dates on vday, or what they got you. its already over. spare me lah... my brain is plagued with so many ideas, its gonna explode anytime. haha...

oh the bleeding finally started....to the hell with painful breasts and swingy moods. life of a female...sighs...

with ample rest from yesterday, i finally felt better today!

decided to just cast everything aside, and met kit for a morning-afternoon of klunch.

when we arrived at cck's kbox, i saw no one at the counter, i did the silliest thing i can ever do, and shouted "HELLO~~!!!", the way u would hear it echo in some caves or enclosed area.

since i am the princess, my hellos created miracles.

two human heads popped out from the counter, both at the same time! its like they were having some kind of affair behind the high counter, and then both appeared at the same time. i was so so so shocked, i stared at the short but cute guy and said "room for 2 please", all the while laughing silently to myself. kit, being the notorious LOUD girl, LAUGHED AND GIGGLED OUT LOUD! i was so embarassed, i had to ask her to shut up and stop laughing.

k-ing was fun. we "challenged" the girl next door by singing all the jolin's songs she sang. believe me when i said we sound far better than her, even after my op and my voice sounds like shit. that girl's shittier. and the guy with her was no better. BUT but but...they provided some laughing entertainment though.

since it was still early after the session, we decided on a movie. caught fearless at causeway point again. no wonder it was nc16. so violent de. my packet of fish crackers nearly flew out of my hands when the moves scared me. so scared so scared...

and once again, the very slow princess(yess i admit i'm a little slow can?) made a fool out of herself.

while Q-ing, we were served by this bung. she looked just like a guy with boobs, but the funny thing was her name is "meifen". hehe...okok...so i asked for 2 tix for the 3.55pm show and it cost $13. kit gave me exact amount while i pulled out a $1o note. i knew i had small change, so i dug and dug in my wallet for more money, all the while putting whatever i dug out on the money pile.

the bung just stared at me and asked "its only $13. why are u taking out so much money?"

kaoz! she thinks the princess doesn't know how to count!!!!!! being kind hearted by finding her exact change...wats so wrong bout it? no one is Q-ing behind me too mah....pffts.

notice i said it was a 3.55pm show? we were there at round 3pm, and decided to buy some tibits at other cheaper places before entering. and the show started at 3.40pm can?! how can like that?! though its okie coz i'm already sitted, hehe, but the point is, they gotta spare a thought for those just on time mah!!!!!! and anyway, only two moronic delinquents came in later than that, so its still ok lahhh.

hmmm....only knows who is zen, that proclaimed cutesy? he is some 26 yr old chap. I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHO HE IS. and he added me on msn. weirdo. to make things worse, this young but senile chap tends to ask me the SAME questions, like how old i am and where i am studying. if i'm 20 today, chances are i'll still be 20 tml, unless u are asking me on the 2nd july. irritating. and to think i always felt older guys tend to be more mature. my foot.


ni men zhao dao dui de ren le ma?

Happy Valentine's Day
qing ren jie kuai le

Happy Friendship Day
you yi wan shui

i've heard. you have to refrain from drinking water at 8pm the night before ur wedding. its to prevent water retention. ever noticed that sometimes after you wake up, u see red lines/slight dents on ur arms and face? yea its to prevent them. i heard this tale from a bride herself. every bride wants to look her best. they would rather die of thirst, then to look ugly on their big day.

i've proven. if you cried, and cried real badly before you sleep, u get swollen and puffy eyes the next morning. i watched san ge hao ren before i slept last night. it is rather touching, and given the fact tat i am going thru this pre-bleeding transition, i'm rather edgy and emotional. i just cried and cried. i couldn't stop. i must have cried at least a full one hour.

and, i was having a pounding headache last night. i gave up and pop in two ultra strong panadols the doc gave me previously. thank god for medicine, the pain subsided in 5 min, and i find myself slowly dozing off...

this morning...or rather at noon, i finally watched i not stupid 2 at woodlands. it was my first and alan's second. i wouldn't mind watching it again after watching it already. its so touching, i find myself trying very very very hard to fight back tears.

and well, there's like a guy friend beside me, somehow i need to hold back some pride right? haha...but i think it still made me cry real hard. even titanic didn't have its power.

this is real good.

the part i find most interesting:
daddy, jack neo, giving his sons tom(elder) and jerry(younger) tuition. he receives a call, and jerry overheard his dad charged ppl $5oo an hour to give a talk. and young jerry participated in a play in sch, and he was the main lead actor. he has been trying very hard to get his parents to come and watch, but they always couldn't give him a definite answer.

he wanted to buy more pokemom cards, but his mom didnt allow cause he already had ALOT. so he scrimped and save, and even skipped eating during his break time. he also sold his good pokemom cards to friends. also, he stole from the school tuckshop's auntie when she wasn't noticing, but it got filmed down by the cctv.

then tom got influenced by bad company who instigated him to shoplift. it was a plan to extort money from him because they knew he was a rich man's son. but tom didn't know. two imposters CID cops agreed to let him go on account of $2000 zhe kou fei.

tom was desperate, and he saw jerry's piggy bank. jerry was willing to give him the money even though the brother has always been mean to him in the past.

the sch informed jerry's parents bout the money problem.

(okie i'm sorry, but here comes the very touching part)

when the dad hit and scolded him, asking him why he needs so much money, this was his reply:

"i didn't take the money to buy pokemom cards. i wanted to use the money to buy one hour of ur time to come watch me perform."

-sob sob sob-

please tell me, how not to cry?

when i told my sis the show was real good, she asked me whether i felt i shd treat our parents better. i feel that, we shd improve our way of communication. thats all.

but i feel more strongly bout not treating my kids this way. sometimes some mistakes can be pardon and forgiven, but some others may just change the kids' lives.

gonna try to sleep now. have lessons from 9.30 to 5pm. sighs.

i just had a talk with a close friend of mine, and i dun like the way i'm feeling inside now.

the questions racing in my mind, the sucky emotions lingering.

i hate doubting, but somehow i have to.

and the more we chat, the more i felt like crying...

and eventually, i lost to my emotions.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
my headache is killing me.
i'm feeling cold.
will just post some pics...

What can be worse than mood-swingy pms?

a baby who needs a diaper change when their diaper is soiled.

alissa was crying so loudly today because she felt so uncomfy. its the first time i hear her cry till this bad. actually quite makes sense.

its like wanting to change ur pad because its soaked through. and we can do it without brawling and getting someone to change for us, not like anyone is willing too anyway.

i realised, when u have a baby, ur world revolved ur baby. whatever u look at, its baby stuff. ur baby has became ur no. 1 priority. and its not that heart aching when u spend 300 bucks on their clothes and other necessities. but u feel the pinch if u spent 300 on a bag, or shoes, or even clothes.

i saw, her mama swipe her card so many times today. and its all for alissa. typical example of

MY BABY IS MY EVERYTHING!

we were at paragon when we tried this ice cream. (i am too lazy to upload the pic, and stupid blogger is having trouble posting it on its site) i insisted on cookies and cream, because i realised most ice cream of this flavour tastes yummy. then i saw...DURIAN...D24! and so...how can i not choose durian at all?

durian is yummier than cookies and cream. i wanna go back there and eat it again!

wanted to go over to granny's house, but since ah ger is travelling back to sembawang alone with alissa, i came home.

MISTAKE!

i came home, only to find an empty home! where is my mama, and mei mei, and didi?

i have no freaking idea! home alone on a sat night. life is so fun-filled.

I is getting smarter!

-pats myself on my back-

you all must see! my new pinkie layout is scho scho scho scho niceeeeeeeeeeee and sweeeeeeeeeeeet right? will melt you guys right?

you know hor....the original font is grey grey one leh....but i changed it lehh!!! now its in black and more visible lor! i'm so considerate to my readers can? (ya right, as though u are that popular.)

wah since the devil in me said that, i also got nutting to say. BUT, at least myboy can see it clearly when i type "I LOVE SHANLE" here mah. so....its still worth a pat.

then hor, i adjusted the size of the input area, ie where u are reading and looking at the pics now. and hor, i changed so many many things, practically everything! except for the pink background and the picture! i felt this skin is so personalised. scho proud scho proud of myself!!!

hunnie bunnie came over today. its amazing how much the little one grew, just in the span of one week. babysitter started feeding her fish porridge, and now, she feels so much meatier and heavier. more substance liao leh!!!

anyway, while she was being carried by my mama, HER mama tempted me with a trip to bangkok. seriously, i SERIOUSLY am VERY TEMPTED to join her. if all goes well, and er...i get a certain someone's permission, i will really consider going.

tml is a busy busy day. somehow i really dun understand. i only have lessons on tues and weds and the occasional sats.

why dun u ppl date me when i'm free? why cramp everything up on the same day?

yx and py wanted to meet at 11.30 to buy bx's bday pressie. but i got lesson at 2pm, so i rejected.
2-5pm, lesson. not free.
after 5pm, meeting bunnie and her mama for shopping.


then liqing want to meet at night for some drinks. tell me, why like that one? how to make everyone happy?

and no one is free for drinks at night. scho sad. xiao hui celebrating vday with kh in advanced. june has hall stuff.

and, dumbo me agreed to attend bx's party on sunday. but its 15th! the last day of cny! how can i not go to granny's house and savour all the good food? especially when she specifically told me she's cooking my fav curry chicken?!

before you guys get the wrong idea, no i'm not greedy k? its just, i promised granny i'll be there. and its sort of like a family gathering. how can i excuse myslf just to be at some party?

and no, dun get me wrong, i still wanna wish bx a happy 21st! and i'm sure my absence makes no difference.

conclusion? curry chicken for me on sunday!

the very much dreaded day...20th feb.

RESULTS ARE GONNA BE OUT ON THAT DAY!!!

everyone, please treasure me for the remaining one week or so. i'm so absolutely sure i'll kill myself on the 20th, though i really studied.

boo-hoo...the thought of it gives me nightmares!!!

i'm gonna swallow my pride, say i'm sorry. stop pointing fingers, the blame is on me. i want a new life, and i want it with you. if u feel the same, dun ever let it go. u gonna believe, the spirit of love. it will heal all things, we won't hurt anymore. no i dun believe our love turning off. i'm down on my kness, begging you please, come home.

i can give you my love. i've been waiting all of my life. for the moment i knew it was right. i made a promise and gave my heart away. its a feeling i just can't fight. i feel the sun when u hold me tight. well i surrender everything i have inside.

looking back on the things i've done. i was trying to be someone. played my dark, kept u in the dark, now let me show u the shape of my heart

i promise you, from the bottom of my heart, i will love you till death do us part.

all i want is u, i give my heart and soul. just one chance is all i need, to prove that u and i, are forever meant to be.

Photos...round 2

stupid blogspot had errors when i wanted to load more pics to my previous entry. i waited, and i waited, and then they flashed me an error page! ANGRY!

so i decided to use back my trusty old way, yes yes...i'm a person who will stick and go back to things i like.


i am very tall


ning's erotic and dark spots lips.


leftovers from steamboat..hehe...the rest went home. and look at my books! so very hardworking!!!


then the leftovers tried to be funny...see what i've always preached? girls MUST have long hair LAHH


the girls didnt know how the pink clip was used. so i demostrated. weird huh? i was shopping at carrefour yesterday, and an ex-colleague commented my hair is soooooo nice! she bian tai


ready to be a flowergirl anytime! we were supposed to take turns with the ribbon! but end up only i tied! UNFAIR LEHH!!!


ENDING OFF WITH THE FINAL PIC...

presenting papa and mama! with nice nice scenary from our rasa's room.

Photos...YES i'm that bored!





we grew up together! my sister didn't stay over so she wasn't in this pic.















an auntie hit my poor toe with her lao-kok-kok kind of shoe. pain leh!!!!!















us on the bus on our way back from sembawang beach. its blury coz the bus is moving.

it's been 30 months
once again we seek warmth through loneliness
no more longing...

losing each other's company
we learnt, to cut ourselves off from our past memories
resisting any atempts to miss you once again...

I always thought I would find,
the answer to convince myself
but my emotions were disrupted, with that very one call...

I've slowly gotten used to it,
filling my life to the fullest
having meals on my own, trying to live my life normally.

I've slowly gotten used to it,
to take love naturally
but I just can't understand, why does the skies seem so grey...
after you're gone...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Memories..
they stay with you forever?

yes its a question, not a understatement..

i guess, its true, one can never permanently erase their memories, good or bad.
it just comes flooding back when something or someone triggers anything related to it.

i always thought memories ain't anything impt to me. not in that sense that i feel i wasted my time, more in the sense that "its over, and i'm moving on" way.

i'm so wrong.

i just chose to put it somewhere else in my brain/heart and lie to myself that i've moved on. and when times come that i have a sudden longing for that particular matter/person, it just comes back.

it usually doesn't stay for long, and i always remind myself not to feel any regrets since i chose things to be done this way, thus creating those memories.

its very harmless thinking, perhaps only to reflect how bored or lonely i feel at times.

maybe one day, some of u may become only part of my memory, and no longer part of my life...

u know when its coming.

u tire easily...
u get backaches...
u get swelling breasts and its painful...
u get weirdo mood swings that even ur bf/husband decides to leave u alone...
u start having crampy knots...
and eventually u start bleeding...

maybe this justifies me dozing off in class. (more like an excuse!) i am usually ENERGISED once the lecturer says "see u next week". not yesterday, not today. i was still practically dragging my feet around, with my 20kg heavy bag. if not for gifts eileen and i were supposed and had wanted to get, i would have headed home for a good afternoon nappy.

blah...i'm like in a lousy mood again. hehe...i am.

If mondays are deemed blue...

then most of my tuesdays are BLACK!

its sickening to know that out of 3 modules u take, classes for 2 of them coincide on the same day. back-to-back...10 to 1, then 2 to 5. not to mention our lecturer requested to start class earlier at 9.30am because we are behind time.

as a good student, i know i shouldn't be complaining. afterall, our lecturer is making the same sarcrifices. but...i just couldn't help it!!!!!!

WHY LIKE THAT ONE?!

initially, i felt it was a good idea that all my lessons only occupies my tues and weds, and the occasional sats when we needed to do make-ups. but now, i feel so congested in this schedule while idling away for the rest of the week.

once again...WHY LIKE THAT ONE?!

when u think u had given someone a piece of good advice, think again. i hate giving advice when i know the other person isn't gonna accept it and he/she just wants some comfort. i know how it feels when u just simply want a listening ear. but if advice isn't wat u are looking for, then tell us to shut the fuck up! why make us think and rack our brains when u already in ur heart knew what u wanted and how u should roughly solve the problem? its such a cheap way to get our attention and drown us in ur sorrows. and perhaps it didn't cross ur mind, then we have our own problems too? if u think u are the most pathetic soul on earth now, u probably are. because u are soaking in ur own pool of self-pity, and the need to get the undivided attention from ppl who u want them to care. its pure luck for you if u ever had a few ppl sticking with you thru the end, and maybe good karma is the other reason for these ppl. if u wanna be accepted and relive ur life in the proper manner, wake up ur freaking idea and stop thinking everyone has to give in to you. remember, once or twice is enough to tire them out, a third time and u are a nuisance on their list. stop dreaming, sleep time is over!

it was raining durians and papayas when i finally reached sembawang just before midnight. it was so freezing cold, i was thankful i brought my trusty jacket out with me.

had prata at the usual yck joint, where win joined us for a brief prata session. its always bout cars, boobs, pretty faces, and him being unattached. conversations are pretty much limited, i always felt we belonged to different frequency.

oh and if u guys thought i walked in this rain, i'm sorry to disappoint. i waited, together with 5 indian men, 1 malay guy and 1 chinese guy. soooooooooooooo rromantic huh?

i'm so tired, i'm stoning in front of my lappy. had wanted to post the pics we took when the girlies bunked over, BUT, i decided some of them were obscenely obscence. hehe...and not suitable for public viewing, unless u chance upon them while reading their blogs.





this is wat we call, the oreo choc cheesecake. if u are turned off by its soil-looking appearance, ta-dah! u're a mere shallow creature.

its a yummy-delicious plate of "soil". every mouthful makes u feel so sinful, but u just can't have enough of it!

cheers to ning, who imparted her wondrous cheesy skills to her disciples(read: us girlies!).

the amount of food we bought: 2 packs of hotdogs, 1 big pack of crabsticks, some veggie, 2 tubes of egg tofu, quail eggs, fishballs, fish dumplings, porkballs, golden mushroom and prawns! WHAT A SPREAD!!! i think everyone enjoyed themselves, be it the buying, preparation or cooking process. we didn't have time to bake the muffins, so its gonna round two at my house yea girls?

sirong and xiao hui didn't stay.

the rest of us went to sembawang park, sat by the beach, took pictures, and yak non-stop. it was so cooling, we didn't felt like heading back to my home where the air seems to be so still, as compared to the cold breeze that felt so refreshing.

AND...i saw a shooting star!!!!!!! damn..always forgets to make my wish...when can my reflex ever outwit my excitement?!

if i had just one wish, it would be for the chance to love you forever.

when u take a hiatus from blogging, you'll find urself in a dilemma as to whether or not to continue blogging from where and when. i dunno bout others, but personally, i find myself facing that problem.

if u call ur blog sort of an online diary, then isn't it supposed to record wat happened to u DAILY? but then again, when i think of how i dun even pen down my thoughts daily when i WRITE them in a REAL DIARY, i gave myself the concession to blog whatever i want, and not pick up from where i last blogged.

the 5th day of cny already, and so far visiting for most relatives had been done. and we dropped by chun keng's and terence's house too. jeffery's invitation was extended too, but no one could make it, so i guessed we will all have to give it a miss.

the girls are staying over tml night! its steamboat time! and er...i think ningz and rongz wanna bake the oreo cheesecake. any takers? for the cake only! hehe...

let the pictures do the talking...the more i look at her, the more in love i am.








2 months ago...

5 days ago...


DO WE LOOK DIFFERENT?!

Staying quietly by ur side, watching ur every smiling face
ur smile so sweet, just beside of a promise he made to you
i nv dared to grumble, for i did it willingly
maybe perhaps one day, you'll be able to see my love for you

bit by bit, day by day, you drift away from me
i simply feel like air, ignored and neglected

i'm to blame, for my love is not brave enough
always being ur pillar of strenth in silence
and letting everything slip by
baby now i need you by my side
tell me how do i let go of our past
without you i can't fall in love, again

till the end of time, in a world so close to me
i'm just so in love, with the girl thats in my heart
each and everyday, i want her next to me
and i said to the world, i'll never let it end

its obvious, that a day to come i'll discover
you have lost ur smile to him