I'm finally back home after two days, and i'm very very tired now.

everyone is coming over my house today, at around 12noon. kinda exciting isn't it? even eddie and evan is coming over. he and his brother is the same as me and my sis's age. and i grew up with the brothers and they had been nice and protective even when we were young. though we only get to see each other once a year now, we dun feel particularly unfamiliar and awkward.

it has been so so so fun and enjoyable these two days.

and we had been looking very very very pretty. wats new right?

hao le lah. wo hen lei le. wo yao orh orh le. wan an~!

ps: darling, did u miss me lots lots?

I turned down

• an offer to go home later and my uncle would personally send me right back to sembawang. dadddy had came to pick me up, though i would really love to stay on and bask in the family ambience.
• the chance to go to chinatown to watch the spectacular fireworks with liqing because i figured i needed ample rest tonight to prepare myself for the long day ahead.
• a gathering with friends to pub, because i was freaking tired, and pubbing isn't exactly very jolene-like.

i had a relaxing time just lazing at home in the evening. perhaps with the big shopping hooha and preps of cny, i felt fatigue setting in.

2am now. i really wish i could be sleeping soon.

a part of me, there's love. a part of me, there's disappointment. a part of me, there's hope. a part of me, just feels so detached.

wouldn't be blogging for the next couple of days i think.

me is happy!

because many ppl say i am getting prettier! and more feminine! and all's said within the span of a week!

and since its not cny YET, those aren't lies or hypocritical words! they are VERRY TRUEE!!

there was aunty mary, who said my hair looks nice(i noe miss boey beg to differ) and says i look so different. but very nice and got nu ren wei.

-blush-

there was the facial lady whom june went to to pluck her brows. she told june i was pretty too!

-blush harder-

today, nanny said i looked feminine. she asked if its the power of love. hehe...
and auntie tricia said i look nice and mei mei, and asked if i slimmed down? hahaha...

i'm beginning to get the cny mood. wat's cny without steamboat and everyone sitting around sharing and cooking for one another?

though its only once a year, but i could feel that family warmth somehow.

happy new year to everybody celebrating it! and to those who arent, enjoy the holidays!

I'm totally in love with myboy. -huggles-

Guy: you're perfect in my eyes. without you, my world would be imperfect. say you'll let me bring you happiness.

yes thomas ong, i so very do.

that was what jiekuan said to ruyi in love concierge. it might sound very lao tu, but i think its so sweet. especially the part when he said, "say you'll let me bring you happiness." hello ppl already proposed like that liao, believe him lah!!!!

on the other hand, i know, such sappy shows always wanna portray happy endings for EVERYONE.

BUT, i find it so not acceptable when lance went back to look for chun chun after being rejected by ruyi. what the hell? treating her as a SUBSTITUDE or what? very SAD one leh!!! the feeling sucks one leh!

pffts.

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shopping at orchard is never enjoyable. the amount of ppl doing their last min shopping is uncountable.

for example, u could nv walk in and out of a shoe shop without squeezing ur way, saying excuse me, and pausing every now and then to make way.

EeeEEEyeeEEwww~!

but i managed to buy my new pair of shoes. hehe...happy as can be...

my house reeks of loneliness tonight once again. i hope my sister comes home soon.


it the stupid june's fingerS!


very windy outside taka. but so relaxing~

after reading my post and chatting a little regarding some particular contents, rongz said this:

"jolene...hmm...didn't know you are so troubled."

and suddenly i felt a pang of pity for myself.

-smacks my head-

i read this somewhere before "the ones who laugh the loudest cries the hardest". and i have no interest in testing out this theory.

i better say goodnite and go to bed soon. the whole self-pitying saga is getting into my head.

i just spent the past hour in search of a blogskin, but i just can't find any that i like.

it wasn't that hard to find a satisfying skin in the past, or am i harder to please now?

since i wouldn't shoot myself with my own words, i'm gonna come to the conclusion that the standards is dropping low.

some may say "ya lah u so yaya papaya u go do ur own skin lah!"

i would, if i knew how to. and i would, if i weren't that lazy to learn.

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went shopping with the not-so-rich-now-but-will-be-quite-rich-soon sista. she was panicking on her cny outfit. tell me, if u wore something that u had previously worn, who the hell would know?

and yes, we still lack shoes. both of us.

and smartie me managed to buy the same pink painted on my current french manicured nails. luck was really on my side. hehe.

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when u see that someone had this nick on msn that reads "i'm feeling so bored", do u still go on and ask that someone is he/she bored?

i happened to be that someone tonight, and i got bored-er with ppl asking me, "u bored ah?" and offering unconstructive suggestions like "go watch tv lor". if i had that in mind, i wouldn't be bumming around here already.

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i once read an article in a mag, this girl claimed she did not understand how girls could proclaimed they "feel fat" for the day.

now my question is, could one suddenly feel unloved for the day?

i dunno how the rest out there, but at times, i certainly do feel that way. its not just by ur love ones. by friends, classmates, whomever, sometimes u just feel so neglected that leads u to feel unloved.

and my point being?

i DO feel unloved at times. heh.

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i never once doubted when the results of personality tests i did showed that i am an extreme extrovert.

being rather sociable and outspoken and okie maybe overly friendly, i tot i am okie with mingling.

it was of late that i became to feel, i'm quite an introvert by heart. i dunno if anyone noticed or observed. but well if u hadn't, i can safely say, u dunno me well.

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sometimes things i yearn too much for, puts me off when i had to wait patiently for it.

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its good enough if u once lived in someone's heart.

but its best if u are forever the one occupying their heart.

2 years older.

on sunday, i would be 22!

simple calculation: 20 + 1 + 1 = 22?

i loathe this age calculation that the ancient ones(read: my grandmotherS) adopts. u see, since i'm going on 21 this yr, they add an additional year to ur actual age becoz of the new lunar year's beginning.

darling, u are actually 21 then! hehe...

okie back to it, so when an elder asks me my age and i replied i'm 20 still, cause i haven had my birthday, grandma would cut in and said i'm actually 22. and the other ancient one understands. its like they have the same tuned frequency.

i wonder, would we all become like that when we turn 50?

one thing i'm uber glad, is that my grandparents are not that superstitious to make us wear bright colours and forbid black. i mean, afterall, everyone just wanna look good. if black is ur bestie, then i say go ahead.

went shopping to ah girl and hunnie bunny yesterday. before that, i went to parogon to meet them coz alissa was having her jab there. i was in babies paradise. the little angels are so adorable. so many ang moh babies there too. hehe...while playing and talking to alissa, there was this malay toodler. he was looking at us? weird, haha..but he has really big eyes. and he is slightly on the chubby side and looks so ke ai! he abit shy shy when i smiled at him too. haha.

then we went cny shopping. very last min, but not the slowest yet. i have a date with sista later, she has yet to buy anything. and perhaps, i shd get another pair of shoes. haaha.

its time to go broke, then get rich again.

breakfast time!

"hello hunnie bunny!"

and the little charmer would smile at you while chewing on her fingers.


she has already melted my heart countless times since she came back 2 days ago. i declare, i'm in love!




see that hairclip? i tried too! but hunnie bunny cuter lah. hehe...

i got real bored tonight. i saw my younger years pics, and i decided to put them up. hehe...

You noe...we have a big family...so this explains my first birthday cake...and i was the first grandchild, first bundle of joy!


subsquently, ppl got tired of cakes. haha...and i got demoted from huge to very small.


next on are like random pics i picked. i may not be the ultimate charmer, but hey! i think i'm cute!





introducing you guys to the one i grew up with. haha...he took advantage of me!!!

actually i think my aunt wanted to finish her roll of film, so she told eddie(the kisser), "eh eddie go kiss jolene, i wan to take pic." then the stupid boy happily said "okie!" i innocent k?

when mama was still working at singtel, she could claim this 3d/2n stay at some hotel yearly. so very often, we would check into the hotel during xmas period and stay there.

i'm the second from ur left. the one on my left is alissa's mama. hehe. yes, we grew up together too!

it gets abit depressing when ppl keep telling me i look mature and old. because i'm afterall, quite young. hehe...but i think, maturity starts from young.

guess how old am i in this pic?

no everyone guessed wrongly. i wasn't 5 or 6 or 7. that was when i was 3! hur hur hur...

yea cny coming!

i coughed...

and i coughed...

and i sat by the toilet bowl for 20 minutes. because it was so bad i could feel stuff in my tummy threatening to exit thru my mouth. which it eventually did.

i felt so tired and shaken. tears strolling down my cheeks. my hands were trembling, i looked like a wreck. the aftermath of my terrible cough.

and i'm still coughing like mad.

annabelle just told me a piece of shocking news. a good friend of ours is getting married, and no we are not invited. no again, we weren't even informed. so we are guessing...since its such a rush...it must be you noe...you noe...

cny is nearing. sis and i haven gotten our clothes. haha...the older we get, the more bo chup we get too. my sis says she would most probably go naked and asked me to join her. i very kindly rejected her and said i would rot at home instead.

really, i just feel like lazing home this year. the once in a year festival where everyone is so hypocritical simply turns me off.

i'm guilty too, for that fake smile i used to brush ppl off nicely.

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coincidence or not, i dunno.

i was browsning thru alan's arhcives and i re-read that entry of us with boey's hammy at sembawang mac. that entry had a link to my previous post. and when i clicked on that link, and scrolled thru every entry, i came upon the love declaration we wrote for each other a couple of months back. (not alan and me please. its myboy and me.)

not only that, there was the entry bout how i didnt choose to trust him the other time too. thats regarding the same girl involved.

and suddenly i felt the fuss i kicked up, was really uncalled for. maybe i'm too used to it, that i forgotten how strongly i feel for this guy. until things happen, then i chose to retreat once again for fear of getting hurt. i just didn't want to get hurt by the one i love so much and end up hating him...maybe that explains why he always feels i build a wall between us whenever things like these happens.

darling, i'm sorry. i was selfishly safeguarding my heart, that i broke urs in the process. forgive me for my foolishness. forgive me for not believing in our love, the way u do.

the last thing i would ever wanna do, is to stop loving you.

to xiangting, i can't really say "hey i understand how u feel now" and stuff. but as a female too, i roughly noe how u are feeling. please pardon me for being selfish. i noe i'm being unreasonable by expecting him to erase u from his memories. its all up to him whether or not he can do it. i'm not gonna embrace ur words and believe in you. but i'm gonna believe and trust ezu, cause he once again proved to me, he's worth it.

if it weren't for me, ezu said he would still choose you. i dunno if u see me as an intruder or the one who snatched him away. but if u do, i'm sorry for causing u any pain in this sense as well.

to xiao an, thankew for ur love all this while. little pampering and encouraging from u time and again makes me feel more loved than before. and whenever i'm upset, u will be there talking to me. i may not say it, but i really appreciate it. -hugs- i love you so much too...

i watched, in silence as my parents prepared for their morning jog.

i looked, out of the window and saw the orange-red sky.

i felt, the chilly morning breeze brush against my face.

loneliness and sadness crept in, why am i feeling this pain?

sis: oei you boil water for wat?

me: i just need some warmth...

i replied with my back facing her. she didnt notice the quiver in my voice, neither did she see my tears. which i'm feeling glad, cause i wouldn't know wat to say to her...

sis: siao..

bie wo zhu wo de shou
shuo wo yi ding hui dong
zhuo bu cheng de ai ren bian cheng zui hao peng you

ke bu ke yi bie hui tou ?
ke bu ke yi jiu fang shou ?

Critical illness

This is getting very serious. Its not fatal, but it deprives me from good times.

I have what you call, the Pre-CNY-sysdrome.

it started when i was in jc, year2. i was hit with stomach flu. the worst of anything i've ever experienced. the churning of food in my tummy before its finally passed out thru two passages, the asshole and my mouth. in liquid form.

that hit me hard. i lost my appetite for close to 2 months.

a year later, when i was going on 19, i had this terribly high fever which went on and off for almost 2 weeks! up till the night for reunion dinner, i was too weak even to go to grandma's house for dinner.

last year, i had a mild sore throat. and i stayed away from new year goodies. actually i'm not a junkie for them. so it wasn't such a bad thing.

THIS YEAR...
why am i sick now? why????????????????
my throat is so sore it hurts when i swallow anything.
i'm coughing so badly, i had difficulty sleeping.
plus that good friend of theirs, the fever!

and cny is barely a week away.

when again i come to realise, you're a loss i can't replace...

Bestie's birthday!!!!!

finally settled the dining place and how to deal with the cake. thankew all for making it possible. lol...sounds as though its my 21st, but wat's important, is everyone enjoyed and the birthday girl is happy.

bought bestie's present at marina square today. after pondering and changing my ideas ever so frequently, i decided on getting her a watch.

picture taken by delia, but not very clear though. its the sweetest thing i saw today, except for my reflection! hahaha. and trust me, the pink one is even more to-die-for.

dinner was at the changing appetite, The CA for short. the food is good and the prices are reasonable too. everyone ate to their fill, and nearly burst when we ate the simply-melts-in-your-mouth choc cake.

baby rack ribs with weird tasting sauce


yi ta li mian!


The CA's burger. the beef patty is juicy and thick!


steak..with cheese and shredded seaweed? weird combination huh? and the slice was so thin...haha...but still yum yum! notice the drink? its called cookie and cream slinkie. i'm a sucker for cookies and cream!!!!


one big piece of fried chicky cutlet, plus curry gravy and rice for only $11.90. this dish is called chicken out!!!!

my sis recommended this cake from the royals. she said it melts in ur mouth and its very nice.

it may look ordinary, but its taste is extraordinary. no begging for anyone to finish it, it was gone before long.

and after the entire meal, the whole group of 7 of us, got their membership card which entitles us to 10% discount the next time round, valid for a year. its situated at marina square, just beside swensons. hehe...anyone interested to go, could borrow my card!

wats dinner and an outing without photowhoring around? there were 3 digicams and my pathetic phone to circulate around.

"smile!"

-snap-

"eh eh change cam leh! use my cam too!"

-snap again-

"eh one more one more!"

-snap-

so, u can imagine, the same pose and same smile and same people but taken on diff cams.


me and rongz, taking the debut picture for the celebration. we were both wearing the square pink retro earrings too!


pretty us!


the bday girl and meme!


group photo, sirong was somewhere else having dinner with her darling. hehe...


on our way home...

my energy has maxed out. shagged is the word to use i guess. and it doesn't help that my sore throat is getting worse, and i'm starting to cough.

damn, shit always happen when cny is nearing.

damn, guess i have to give sok ser's retro bday bash a miss tml.

Whenever i see babies, toodlers, baby necessities and related stuff, i feel the maternal instinct setting in. just like today, i almost kidnapped this little girl. no kidding, she reminded me of the little princess. but she is able to run around already. playing catching with the granddad. and her smile is so mesmerising, i stopped in my tracks, smiled, waved, and some part in me wished she was mine.

i came across this tshirt from fox babies, with a cute monkey picture and words that reads "i'm so cute!" too bad i dunno how big alissa is now...too bad i dun kids of my own.

haha...okie with all that usual motherly talk i constantly preached on my blog.

guess wat i ate that tasted so heavenly today? guess!!!!

got it?

let me give u another clue?

yea! ben and jerry's! yummylicious! 10 toes up!

quite spooky that june just tagged my tagboard the previous night, and today bestie brought her along for lunch. wat a nice but long waiting surprise! (long coz they were late and had me waiting for 30 mins, alone)

oh the gist of this entry, isn't to blog bout how much i wanna be a mommie or how nice the ice cream was. it is to say sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry to miss boey. sorry u felt offended. its a joke carried too far.

i'm resisting sleep again.

and i'm tired.

i think i got a bian tai mind.

an ex-classmate from primary sch just sent me a msg via friendster(the place where u suddenly discover singapore is freaking small and everyone is related in one way or another). his msg carried this text:

hi, old friend of mine, care to add me? if u dun remember me, i'm this fat guy from cbps who stepped and broke ur file in pri2.

errr......i vaguely remember it though...but i remembered the part where he was really apologetic. he said sorry profusely as though it was some diamond plated white gold file. nice since young, so i assume he is still a gentleman now?

haha laugh! -pokes myself in the ribs-

okie i'm so bored i'm blogging here again.

been blog-whoring these days too. came across really interesting sites. they provided late night entertainment. no RA contents lah...but reading on wat happened in their lives, it kept me occupied and accompanied me on sleepness nights.

and i noticed some sort of trend.

for guys, most of them are either working, or working. quite surprising that they are able to shelf out time to blog consistently despite their busy schedule. okie i am assuming they are good workers and shd be busy with work. and they are always complaining bout their low pay, whether or not to get a car, or how fucked up army life is(who can argue with this?!).

for ladies, no matter wat age they are, it always bout their love life. seems like we are forever plagued with such headaches. we fall victims to the vicious word called "love", where u once think everything was sweet and with love, everything is possible. only to finally wake up and find it was all a mistake, a nightmare, and its hell probation to recovery thereafter.

ever had ur partner falling in love with another person and keeping u in the dark?
ever had ur partner falling in love with another person and she happens to be ur friend? and he kept u in the dark as well?
ever having gone away for a couple of days to realised ur partner no longer loves u and u alone?
ever had a partner who was with u for the sake of being in a relationship?
ever had ur partner spending so much time with someone else of the opposite sex and eventually falling in love with them and all the while u had faith in him/her and trusted him/her?
ever had someone two timing you?
ever had ur partner break up with you eventually and telling u the feeling has faded long ago and he/she is simply hanging on for the sake of it?
this is the list that doesnt ends, and it goes on and on my friend. some ppl, started singing without knowing wat it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...

though not every single point on the list happened to me, the though of it is so dreadful.

i read a couple of sad entries so far, and with vday getting nearer, i really feel so sorry for these heart broken girls.

sorry not as in "haha u pathetic fools who has no dates and no lovers to celebrate with! i feel so sorry for u losers!", but as in real heartfelt feelings for those wallowing in pain from previous relationships, for those unable to stand up on their feet again after being shattered completely, for those being afriad to love again, for those who really wanted to spend vday with the one who supposedly love them but unable to do so now.

vday taunts ppl like them.

but, love is like a necessary evil.

eventually, ppl succumb to it, and get hurt, and they fall, and get hurt, and ........it goes on and on...

i think the day we can escape from love's clutches, is the day we shave our heads and be nuns and monks.

fang xia tu dao, li di cheng fou

okie that was to cheer the pessimisstics and the heartbroken ones.

i've seen too many broken marriages and failed relationships. the images are discouraging, the impact isnt healthy. its not a matter of love and faith anymore, its a matter bout making things work.

face it, we rather be told of our partners' true feelings, instead of them putting up an act, pretending to love us, tolerating with it, and trying hard to fall in love with us during the how many months/years of being together. think of the betrayal and pain and injustice. ouch, its something i wouldn't wish or want it to happen on me.

but, its wishful thinking on my part, because there are simply things you can't control. when u trust somebody too much, only to find out that person had misused ur trust, wat will u do?

i believe, you would have this wall built around ur heart, and its gonna be hard to penetrate, no matter for that person who hurt you or to anyone new in ur life. because u were once hurt.

wo de xin zhen de shou shang le....

its quite true in my case, and i would never ever give that person another chance to hurt me, even if i still love him, even if my heart is telling me to give in. maybe its the pride in me...or maybe its something else.

its always too late to regret. which is why, i personally dun like this song:

if i could turn, turn back the hands of time...

if it was so easy, ppl wouldnt be suffering. total bullshit. surely there would be times when u feel this way, when u feel the need to turn back time to rectify ur mistakes. IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

*sidetrack a little, my sis is sleeping on my bed. she just turned to her right side to face me, sleeping of coz. but i wonder...why is her hand caressing my leg? sicko sister.

20 years ago, if u asked a woman wat she feels is the most important in her life, she would have most probably said
"a loving husband, a caring daddy to the kids, and a happy family."
today, the typical answer would probably be
"a good job that pays well, leading a fulfilled life and obtaining watever i wan in life."

noticed that men and love are no longer mentioned? all along i had the mentality of the former, but circumstances and reality made me realised, its time to take into consideration the latter too. love would no longer keep you alive. love could no longer last. love might no longer be eternal.

and sometimes, the higher u raised ur hopes, the harder u fall, and the harder to get well.

blah! i think i am just a coward. boo!

damn, my throat is really hurting by now. its time for some sleep, and allow my mind not to wander off aimlessly. i really am bian tai.

the throat is a little uncomfy now. feeling rather sore and some dryness. popped one lozenge, and somehow, i think my throat has already grew immuned to its effect. the numbness is still there, but it no longer soothes the pain as effectively and quickly.

met boey for lunch today, and there was a terrifying black experience. while deciding on where to go for lunch, this black guy walked out of the station and stared at me. i saw him staring and i slowly edged towards boey. AND HE CONTINUED TO STARE!!! he looked so prepared to talk to me, wat an early nightmare.


this doggie is taller than boey when he stands up!!!!!


the rules are hilarious. and it sounded dumb. no no, its dumb.

prata at no-more-handsome coffee shop just across the road from boey's house. tastes yucky as compared to the yck one where we frequent. we are pratas-whores, yes guy included. watched some mtvs on alan's lappy, and...and...she's bu zuo ni de peng you and vivian's ai xiao de yan jing mtv right....they sorta lost out to a guy. yes, the guys are gays! earth is turning square le lah!!!!

completely switched off during lecture this morning. the only thing i noticed, is that my lecturer cut his hair. oh, and how gentlemanly this classmate of mine is. u noe, he actually holds the door open for the ladies. and today, even with me pressing "door open" in the lift, he insisted on holding the life door with his hand sort of guarding it. such guys are facing extinction. how i noe? cause some will not bother holding any door open for u and even allow the door to slam straight in ur face.

sighs. and i dun even noe his name.

i'm watching memoirs of a geisha tml!!!!! i've read the book twice and i love it. i'm gonna have high expectations tml...hehe...

ouch...no popcorn tml...

myboy told me to write this:

"myboy is a huai dan."

because he told me this the previous night:

"i had enough of ur nonsense, jolene ho."

-heart breaks-

sighs, but there's no quarrel-free relationship in the world. AND, i love this boy of mine.

MINE!

on the other hand, i'm thankful for friends like the wonderful annabear and junnie for being there during tough times. hehe.

the little darling is coming home early! gonna pick her up on the 23rd...i can hardly wait.

morning lesson tml. it stretches all the way till 5pm with a one hr lunch break inbetween. so, i better get some rest like now?

goodnites all~!

PMS

it stands for pre-menstrual sysdrome, as i've always known.

dinner with liqing and annabelle a couple of weeks ago, and i learnt a couple of new definitions to it. they were lamenting how unfair it was to ladies who suffer pms and cramps while guys only go thru 2 yrs of national service and 10 yrs of reservice. and according to them, pms stands for post-menstrual sysdrome and PERMANENT menstrual sysdrome too!

it sounded hilarious at that point of time, and it made sense.

i dun feel that pmsy at all this month. i only got no appetite and a bloated feeling around my tummy area. and of coz of the fatigue feeling. luckily no pimples! hehe

*the below text is a little disgusting, stop reading now if u dun wanna be disgusted.

boey: i got to wake up at 9am! got to do project at yew tee!
me: poor thing, my bed is gonna be my best friend tml!
boey: you are making me jealous.
me: you want a bleeding vagina and cramps instead? give you lor.

and i burst out giggling. my sis thought i was crazy, but after i related the smses to her, she too, laughed and said,

"i also have a bleeding vagina. but it is dripping dry."

lol! how further more er xin can our conversation goes? in the presence of my lil brother too! guess thats the price to pay for being the only boy in the family, daddy is immuned to it already. hehe...

Long Long Day!!

the weather started off rainy, again. was supposed to meet bestie at 11.30am, but i was so tired, i lazed in bed and had to push back the meeting time by almost an hour. sorry bestie!!!

bestie is bent on buying her pencil case coz hers is spoilt. so we started from far east, having lunch at the hainanese chicken rice store recommended by belle. we walked round and round...no pencil case. :( and ended up taking neoprints. shall put them up when i install my printer...new lappy changed, so the previous installation is gone~

the rain never stops. rain rain rain all day long. kept us indoors most of the time. somemore its like freezing cold whenever a breeze picks up.

ended up in bugis. did my french manicure...

nicE? haha...saw the previous girl doing the same colour...and i loved it! so i decided to do the same. lol...

then i ate the worst meal ever. this dish, is call in house roast chicken on the greens!

indeed its very green. i didn't know its full of yucky and raw veggies. otherwise i would nv order it!

a funny incident happened at POA, just opposite levis. i was waiting for bestie while she tried her clothes, and was standing beside the fitting rooms, just beside the payment counter. i wore my black jacket as the weather was cold, and most of the salesgirls there wore either jacket or were in black. so when this lady came outta the fitting the room, she handed me two pieces of clothing and told me "i dun want them." the manager promptly reached out and grabbed them, saving me from further embarassment. then a second lady walked out and handed me more apparallels, telling me, "sorry, i dun want them." this time i even blur blur took the clothes and handed it to the staff. tell me, where can u find such a kind and nice soul? haha

some time along the shopping trip, we passed by pretty fit.(fyi, its a store that sells shoes and small variety of handbags) bestie was looking for a covered shoe too, so we went in. i saw this pair of shoe, and i liked it, coz it looked very girly and nice. then i turned to the back, froze and was even afriad to drop that display side of the shoe. that simple looking shoe cost something like $59.90? i dunno bout other girls out there, but its the kinda amount i wouldn't pay for such shoes! its just like a slip on sandal! my new charles and keith pair only cost $17.90? and its freaking comfy!!!! now i noe why vain girls always complain they are broke. now i noe why bfs are always poorer by the day. now i noe why ladies' shoe shops are set up, one after another. afterall, we are suckers for such items. vanity kills. curiosity have to step aside permanently.

i once heard this from a stranger i hardly knew for barely 5 mins.
stranger: so how many pairs of shoes do u own?
me: huh? why this question? i dunno leh...nv count. less than 20 pairs i think.
stranger: hmm....20 sounds like a reasonable no.
me: why? why are u asking this?
stranger: coz i believe, for someone to take great notice bout something as insignificant as their footwear, it goes to show that that person takes the effort to upkeep their grooming too. so 20 pairs, i can still accept tat.
crazy ppl with crazy logics. but i dun deny, that is true to some extend. some crazy bimbos practically have a diff pair of shoe for diff outfits. please lah...that serious meh?


pics taken when i went out with kit on sunday. was too lazy to transfer before this. hehe... see the difference in the quality? one is taken with her VGA cam phone. the other with my K750i.

i promised myboy i'll try to sleep early. so i will try to sleep early. though it already 2am now. heehee...i'm loving you more each day darling! -muacks-

Burrr...

its definitely cold in here.

i just washed my face. bad move. i felt the icy cold water jarrred my brain awake, like how you feel when u take a cold shower while running a temperature.

while i bask in the coolness of the rain on my bed, i'm glad for the heat my lappy's is emiting. (its resting on my lap)

lappy on lap! LOL!

met up with liqing for lunch at pasta mania. they have this weekday promotion for students: 30% off ur pastas and pizzas between 2 to 5pm. we only paid $15 in total for 2 pastas and a pizza. how much cheaper can it go?! i felt so pregnant by the end of the meal, i had to give it a miss on the oreo chocolate bubble tea.

then we studied a little at the library. a great time for me to finish my tutorials and get some reading done. it was freezing too. times like this, i really appreciate the sun and my jacket.

i flopped asleep on my bed at 8.30pm. the weariness got into me physically and i just had to nap. i would have slept thru if i didn't wake up to pee and to wash my face...

here i am....blogging as usual....and i wonder wat time will be my bedtime tonight?

got into trouble with lecturer today. he chided us for not reading up the lecture notes, though lessons only began last week. he emphasized the contraint on time we have, comparing it to the amount we have to learn. i think he made sense. i need to get the lazy bug outta my system.

and, ACCA just announced their new syllabus change. doesn't really affect me. but the first sitting is in dec 07, which means, i'm just in time to clear my education with it, if i'm to pass every single paper from now onwards. haha... sounds tough. i'm just relieved that the conversions of the papers matched with the new syllabus, and existing students wouldn't have to retake any papers. thank god for that!

its like a big load taken off my chest. at least now i can accurately plan the rest of my timetable.

you de ren shuo bu qing na li hao
dan jiu shi shui dou ti dai bu liao

i suddenly feel so nausea. i just feel like puking.

and i just got this sudden wave of giddyness.

wat's wrong?

sometimes when u least expect it, things happen. people say things you do not and never expect them to. situations that seem at ur disadvantage suddenly takes a turn for the better.

at least, thats what i feel have been happening all around me.

its still too early to predict whether its gonna be a good or bad year. i believe nobody wants a bad year. and i want it to be good, excellent, superb. afterall, i'm turning 21, many of us are!

sorry, that thought excites me.

sihui-28th dec- couldn't go coz of op
mel tong-7th jan- gone and proven fun!
sok ser-22nd jan- invitation in
darling-22nd jan too- no party, but she's my darling...haha...something has gotta be done isn't it?
annabelle-1st march- no party too...but dinner and pressie not to be forgotten
janice-1st march too- dunno wat are her plans. but JAN! I DEMAND TO BE INVITED! hee
xiao hui-4th march- never heard anything bout her plans...
*up till march, i already forsee that i might declare bankrupt
liqing-4th may- chalet! whee! tentatively right qing? but most probably too isn't it?
kit-19th june- this girl most probably chiong her night away and holds her party at some club. haha
ME ME ME!!!!-3rd july- hiak hiak...dunno wat to do...think i'll hold a chalet too. could combine with liya and kiam hong too! and i want my strawberry shortcake from baker's inn!!!!
flynn-sorry i forgot ur exact date. i noe its sometime early sept. hehe...
june-27th nov- nutting heard yet. anyway she just celebrated her 20th bday not long ago! hehe

alrights alrights...those are just the MERE few people whose birthday i remember. i'm sure there's gonna be lots others.

for those who dunno, i rebonded my hair last thurs.(i chose to use the word rebonding instead of extendso because no one noes wat extendso is. and i'm tired of repeating myself. so yea, i did rebonding k?) Did it at The Scene at wisma. they called it the smoothing striaght. wow, my hair feels so good now.

BUT...BUT...BUT...

it isn't straight enough. okies dun get me wrong, i'm not a freak who wants 200% striaght hair that sticks to ur face. at least reasonable straightness with no visible "dents" here and there. and for my hair, there's this major problem. i'm not satisfied with it, and taking into consideration the amount i paid(220!), this is simply NOT ACCEPTABLE!

i was contemplating between calling them and going down personally. i had the initial impression that calling would be useless as they wouldn't entertain me, and redoing for me means incurring costs on their side. i'm like a bad debt they can't wait to get rid of, and provisions for redoing my hair is not like zero.

i was afraid i wouldn't be strong enough to argue with them, so i called kit along. she is miss huo-la-la amongst us, and definitely strong enough to win any arguements with the mentality that customers are ALWAYS RIGHT. besides, it is just not logical for me to pay them again for a job they failed to do so properly. and more so when i told my stylist my hair ain't straight enough but she insisted its the colour of my hair.

i walked towards the salon this morning with mixed feelings.

instead of denying responsibility and refusal to redo my hair, the staff were actually very friendly and nice towards me. michael, the director of the scene, actually took time to explain to me that since my stylist is not working today, no one could do my hair coz only my stylist noes best wat kinda chemicals shd be used on my hair. and another stylist, whom i forgotten to ask for his name, but he was too very very nice and civil to me. it made the whole experience less taunting, and made all my fears uncalled for. in fact, they allocated me a 11.30am slot to redo my hair tml at no cost.

the only thing that i'm disappointed is, there's no one to accompany me tml! haha...ntu students already started their lessons, nus starting tml...and jan isn't free...i really think, its gonna be 3 hours of loneliness tml. but its okie...for the sake of looking pretty, i shall endure!

its been raining for almost 24hours. i'm loving the coolness, not the wetness. and somehow, the raindrops always seem to calm me down, makes me think more logically and slowly, and not let my thoughts run wild. the water element puts out the flame and fire in me. i'm a much nicer person when the sky is pouring. haha...

when i had a quarrel with boey a couple of days ago, i was upset at the complications it could bring. i was upset that i might have jeopardised our friendship. i was upset as i though myboy might have took his cousin's side and think of me as being unreasonable.

when u are feeling confused, and hurt and sad, no thoughts would ever be rational. you only think of the worst and wats the worst possible outcomes.

it was when he talked to me bout the whole situation and analyse how childish we were, and how he sort of insisted i talked to boey, that indirectly solved our conflict.

thankew darling for that. things wouldn't be the same without you.

and thank god for the strong love we have for each other.

i may have said "i love you" hundreds of times, but each time i say it, i feel it, and i meant it with every beat of my heart.

once again dear, i love you and i'm in love with you. :)

since i'm online, i shall blog no matter sleepy and tired i am now. hehe

just got back from mel's 21st. it was quite fun, though most of the ppl there were merely schoolmates and never my classmates. conversations were easy and there wasn't any problems communicating, even with the guys, who were mostly ang-mo-pai-rich-kids.

and these rich kids are usually the ones who brings in liquor, who mixes them, and the ones who get high. haha...jerry was looking so lobstery!

and the very experienced jaws mixed nice lychee martini! as well as some other of her specialities. i had a glass of it...yummylicious.

i guess when conversations becomes too saturated and everyone is starting to look bored, its time for games. i refused to play the 5-10-15 game. they drank shots and strongly mixed drinks. hello, do i look like the expert in playing clubbing games? haha...only joined in the mutiples of 7 and 11 game...just to pass the time, before the bday girl is willing to cut her cake at 11pm!

left immediately after that cause darling wanted to talk. and anyway it was kinda late and getting tiring.

happy 21st Burfday mel!

-yawns- very sleepy already. i love you darling.

this is dunno how many consecutive day i'm going to orchard. its boring me out, not because of wat orchard has, but because of the trememdous crowd.

jolene hates crowds. jolene hates peoples.

but, i'm sure rongz will agree that it has been a shopping trip full of fruits. (means fruitful) she got wat she wanted-tops, bag, undergarments plus discounts. and me too, got myself a new schbag at 8 bucks off the original price. it comes with extreme bargaining and refusal to give in definitely! hehe...i'm so in love with my new baggie..so so so in love.

and my feet feels so numb and aching like hell.

never gone and crawling back to you....after months of being able to listen to them, mainly coz i have yet to transfer my songs to my lappy, it feels so good to listen to those tunes again. nice!!

i'm feeling so damn bored. this boredom always comes at night. just hope it nv forces me to pick up night activities.

mel tong's 21st tml. a hole in the pocket plus a gathering with mates from the past.

its drizzling again. the rain i was caught in this morning made my face break out in rashes. i need no natural blusher this way yea?

oh oh...my timeline of the day is jumbled up again.

i wanna eat prata
i wanna go ktv
i wanna go jb
i wanna watch vcds
i wanna fly a kite that can fly
i wanna watch more movies
i wanna go bangkok
i wanna carry alissa
i wanna be less bored

june sent me this link a couple of days ago. was too lazy to do it till now.

Orange
You're a bold, confident orange. A warm, powerful color that indicates a strong, welcoming personality, orange is the mark of people who are social and extroverted by nature. Vibrant, with an upbeat attitude, you have a bright, inviting demeanor. Energetic and fun-loving, you're a real friend-magnet. Your easy charm and unassuming manner make you the sort of person people want to meet and get to know better. Well-rounded and fun to be around, you enjoy helping others, so it's no surprise that orange also symbolizes attraction. Orange is an extraordinary color — for an extraordinary person.

aunti-fied!

yea that's me. for the past three days, i've been carrying big and heavy bags of stuff. its so torturing.

and today, while at carrefour, me and darling saw the bbq cum steamboat. and since mommie had expressed interest in buying one, i bought it after the movie. darling was happily saying "wah we can go ur house eat steamboat le!" she is such a greedy sleepyhead!

spent quite alot today. my extendso is already 218!
bought a pair of shoes
bought my jacket
bought my 2006 organiser
bought loose powder
bought food

i'm so tired. zzzz

and i found out that my sister's taste in guys is horrigible.
ugly=shuai
i wonder how she passes her math

i saw the most gorgeous guy ever this morning on my way to do my hair. he is tall. he has long eye lashes. he has nice and big and electro-frying eyes. he is to die for. he is every girl's dream. even my mommie was smitten. everyone say wow!

you gotta feel insecure when ur partner is just standing beside you and she is looking at the handsome guy who just boarded the train. and she just couldn't seem to take her eyes off him. and you gotta feel real bothered when you too, are a female.

my hair smells nice. darling says so too. i have nice hair and nice smelling hair.

my fan is spoilt again. i refused to give it a voltage raise and it stopped moving. it is only 6 months old. ginger still old one good....

my connection is slow today...i dunno why.

i'm rambling incoherently. how can you guys read till this far?

i know...your lurveeeeeee me!

The stone family. or is it the family stone?

whatever it is, i wanna watch it. film critic claimed its her best movie watched last year since its release on 29th dec. and i saw the advert, not bad.

there, they've captured my interest. i've got two free tix at GV. quite logical that one is reserved for myself. for the other tix, anyone interested to watch the stone movie with me can sms me. my days are quite free except tues and wed.

gonna do my hair tml. goodbye curly hair. perhaps its time for another hair cut as well. :)

I'm dead tired. combined lecture hours for the past two days was 13 freaking long hours. my brain is dead. i just walked in the drizzle. i had to carry with me, three modules worth of lecture notes for this sem. my back almost broke and my fingers nearly dropped off due to lack of blood circulation. its so tempting to just flop onto my bed and sleep. but i felt the need to type this out after reading ur blog, ur entry.

let me just reinforce the fact that this entry is not a matter of pointing fingers and blaming the entire fault on you. neither is it an entry to say i'm completely right. i wanna make it known to you, that i love you as a friend and i do care. i'm not dropping u like that, and i dun understand all ur hatred.

you asked me a simple question, and for the very first time, i thought i shd be very truthful. not that i've been lying in the past, just that sometimes, we tend to say nice things in order not to hurt each other's feelings. i know how it feels, coz i'm sure i'm pretty unbearable at times and some ppl are simple tolerating my nonsense. you asked me, i answered, why is it that it made the situation so awkward for the both of us?

i dun deny the fact that i dislike jasby. i have never liked her. i think the feeling is mutual. call me a bitch, call me spoilt, call me anything u want, i wouldn't have tolerated her if not for u. you think its fun to endure sarcasm thrown directly at ur face and u still have to smile at that person? you think it feels good seeing her screw up ur life REPEATEDLY and not able to do anything?

i know, love. its okie to me if u decide to be with her. seriously, i dun really think any of our problems have anything to do with her. neither do u have to divide ur time between us, because we would never get along. she's someone u chosen and i respect that decision. just that u can't be pleasing both sides at the same time. and u shdn't be too hard on urself on this problem.

i'm not going to blame u for shutting me out of ur problems. i understand how hard it is for u to trust a person and to relate ur problems. i've grown used to it. dun interpret it as sarcasm once again, its more like, i know i wouldn't get anything out of it and there's no point forcing u to talk. you became so detached with everyone else, and with ppl like ezu and flynn telling me how scary u seem, its quite worrying. of coz, with my exams and op, i didn't get to see you that often and maybe u find it even harder to relate to me. but u were so cold towards me too, u agree? a cheery goodmorning sms and u replied with ur deadly tone. its was such a complete turnoff.

i have no idea what's going on, really. you wanna hate me, go ahead. u wanna be friends, i'm always here. i'm too tired to go on explaining myself. because it seems like whatever i do or say is always inappropriate.

but look, it was just an innocent truthful answer to ur question. i answered in the capacity of ur good friend to the question u threw at me. wats up with ur anger and flaring up and hatred? i'm not trying to act angelic here. but u shd noe how simple minded i am. i just speak and answer, with no evil intentions. ur response surprised me, and the most hurting sentence i've heard from u several times is "i didn't expect this from you". i dunno what made u said that...i just felt we have drifted and that i didn't feel the same anymore.

do u lose ur patience this easily with jasby too? or is the power of our friendship that insignificant as compared to love? sometimes i just feel, it isn't fair to me too.

we have hurt each other, and things are never going to be the same. i dunno how is it gonna turn out, but i have to say i'm really sorry that i hurt your feelings.

you have never lost ur place as one of my greatest pal in my life. and the one whom i took 2o years to find. a bad start to 2006 doesn't necessarily mean it would be terrible thruout the year. good luck for the year ahead.

the feeling is so terrible, i just wanna go somewhere to clear out my thoughts.

its 11.30pm, and i'm wide awake, as well as having a slight fever.

supposed to wake up at 8am tml...having my first lecture of the year at 9am. i wonder if sami had changed his hairstyle? and is he still as cold blooded as before...lessons are conducted at 16 degree celsuis.

and the day doesn't end there. another 3-hrs lectures starts at 2pm. phew...long long day. i hope sleep kicks in soon.

won't be heading head tml after class. more convenient to stay over at grandma's house for wed's very early morning class.

goodnites...even i can't recognise myself anymore.

This is a new beginning!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYBODY!!!

awww....once again i feel so loved by all the amount of sms-es i've gotten. no doubt some may be forwarded, but at least i'm in ur list. -huggies everyone- i'm sorry that most of you guys did not receieve any well wishings in return. its abit too much to wish everyone. hee.

the most perfect way to start off the year? hmm....i have no idea. but reading my horoscope predictions has always been like so routined, so i did just that. i'm hoping what's good really comes true, and what's bad stays away.

OVERVIEW: Relationships, relationships, relationships. That's going to be your focus during the first half of 2006, particularly during January and February. If you're single, prepare to be approached by someone you've been seeing on an extremely casual basis -- someone who's ready to commit, and who hopes you're willing to do the same. If you're not quite ready, though, don't allow yourself to feel forced, manipulated or talked into it. If you're attached, expect to be proud of your choice and to end up even closer to your partner by the time summer rolls around. During the first three weeks of November, an old flame will reappear in your life, most likely asking for another shot. If you think you two really can come up with new solutions to those old problems, and you're interested, go for it. If not, bow out gracefully and see if you can't simply remain friends.

Throughout 2006, you'll need to keep an extra careful eye on your finances. Overspending will come easily to you, but if you give in to temptation, you'll have plenty of time to regret it -- especially if you overextend via plastic. In addition to keeping track of what you need to pay back and when, you should also put a bit of cash aside. You may need it for professional reasons around the end of March or the beginning of April. You should also keep an eye out for the possibility of turning a hobby into a part-time source of income -- at least part-time. The universe may be trying to nudge you into a whole new profession, and this could be just the beginning.

By early winter, if someone from out of town comes to you with an offer (and this someone happens to be quite interesting, exotic and influential), think hard before you automatically refuse it. This could be the one you've been waiting for. Above all else -- and in all departments -- trust your instinct. After all, when has it ever let you down?

LOVE: If nothing else, the first half of 2006 will be fantastic for your self-esteem. And it won't cost you a thing. There's no need for expensive counseling or self-help books when it seems like everyone around you is singing your praises. Revel in the unexpected recognition of your attributes and talents, and don't be surprised if romantic overtures accompany the hearty compliments.

In the relationship department, this situation could be exactly what you've been looking for -- or it might turn you off a certain overly enthusiastic individual forever. If you're single, you're likely to be approached by someone you'd never quite thought of as a serious prospect. The other person may feel far more passionately than you do. If you're not prepared for the exclusive relationship they propose, then respect your own instincts and don't allow yourself to be persuaded. The sweet talk can only last so long. If you've already got a special someone, showers of praise and material signs of affection from your partner certainly aren't going to hurt your relationship. Just make sure to accept the flattery with grace, and you'll feel incredibly close to your partner as the year progresses.

Later in the year, you may have to wean yourself from the unsolicited accolades. But don't worry -- you won't need verbal signs of affection when people's actions make their respect abundantly clear. You'll rack up admirers like other people collect fine bottles of wine. During the first three weeks of November, a blast from the past may surface. Even if this person isn't begging for another chance, they're probably testing the waters to see if you'd be willing to give it another go. Honestly ask yourself if you think things would be appreciably different; if the answer's no, retreat before any damage is done. In the early winter, look for a new face or even a foreigner to make an entrance into your life. You'll instantly recognize this person as friend or foe, so go with your gut when it comes to making decisions about the future.

kinda long huh? hehe...off to watch some vcds. enjoy the day ppl!!!!